Recent Posts

Summer Vacation: Six ways college and high school kids can make the most of summer jobs and time off

Summer Vacation: More Than Just Summer Jobs

Right about now, high school and college kids are looking for summer jobs and, perhaps, a touch of panic is setting in. The economy has improved but finding a job for just three months, without many skills or a degree, has always been challenging. Good luck to all of the job seekers. While a good […]

Rape in College:What parents need to know

Rape in College: What Parents Need to Know

“I received a call from my daughter on Saturday afternoon. One of her high school friends had suffered a rape in college in California,” a Grown and Flown reader wrote to us. “It was not a student from the campus – she was not drugged, nor was she drunk. She met for a date and […]

Financial aid: Three common mistakes to avoid and expert advice for high school parents

3 Financial Aid Mistakes to Avoid and Other Expert Advice

Mary Dell writes: Oh, January…college-bound seniors have now submitted their last applications and returned to high school for a final, emotional semester. While they turn their attention to a well-deserved victory lap, their parents turn their focus to financial aid. According to Jodi Okun, founder of College Financial Aid Advisors, the timeline for considering financial […]

Grown and Flown: What we are grateful for as bloggers

Grown and Flown, Chocolate Cake and Champagne

Mary Dell writes: On January 18, 2012, Lisa and I held our breath and clicked the “publish” button on Grown and Flown for the very first time. With that single keystroke, our blog was born. We were excited, we clapped, we hugged, we poured ourselves another cup of coffee and sat down again, and wondered, […]

18 Bucket List Ideas for Parents: Year-by-year guide to the childhood "buckets" you don't want to miss

18 Bucket List Ideas for Parents

Life is short, hence the bucket list. The years our children live in our homes are even shorter, thus, here are 18 bucket list ideas for parents, year-by-year. When we are young it feels as though we have forever, but once we have children, it soon becomes clear that we do not. The Sunday morning […]

Teenage drinking - allow it or zero tolerance?

In Defense of Tolerating Teenage Drinking

Marjorie Rosenblatt, physician and guest blogger, writes today on teenage drinking. For every prohibition you create, you also create an underground. Jello Biafra, Dead Kennedys Our teenagers are growing up in a culture of alcohol consumption. With the legal drinking age of 21, binge drinking prior to going out for the night has become the […]

8 Reasons Why My Kids Are Not My Facebook Friends

8 Reasons My Kids Are Not My Facebook Friends

Don’t get me wrong, I wish my kids were my Facebook friends.  I wish they wanted to share their most embarrassing moments with me. I wish they wanted me to know everything about their high school and college lives. Frankly, I would be happy to stalk them and would love nothing better than to pry […]

18 leaves little gashes on my heart, like stinging paper cuts. As he readies for college, I miss him before he is gone and I grieve once he has left.

This is Adolescence: 18

18 is a year overflowing with contradictions. Eighteen wants to be a child forever and yet he cannot wait to grow up. He loves his house and cannot wait to leave it. Eighteen is our teen living in our home and in the same momentous year, an adult residing in another state. On the eve […]

Home for the holidays - Clean is sexy and other motherly advice for sons home for the holidays.

Clean is Sexy and Other Advice for Sons: Home for the Holidays Edition

Earlier this year we shared Clean is Sexy and other bits of motherly wisdom for teen and young adult sons.* As our kids come home for the holidays the impulse to shower them with even more parental guidance seemed irresistible. So along with the gifts and good cheer here is our two-cents worth of advice for […]

Chocolate chip cookies

18th Birthday Ideas for Your College Kid

Mary Dell writes: Name. address. click, click. I type the info into each box, working my way down the page. Yes, three dozen freshly baked chocolate chip cookies and cold milk to be delivered to my daughter’s freshman dorm for her birthday. Yes, her cell number for the delivery person. Credit card. click. click. The […]

College Checklist

college campus, college admissions

The Good, The Bad and The OMG of College Admissions

Mary Dell writes: As teenagers progress through high school, the warnings to their parents about college admissions become an ever-louder drum beat that is nearly impossible to escape. With my eldest child, I braced myself for his junior year terrified at my ignorance on the subject. But anticipating only what we have been conditioned to […]

boys, sons

Knowing My Sons a Little Less

So this is it. The third and final time. Next week I will sit through my youngest son’s high school graduation. Like every parent in that audience, and in every high school auditorium and football field, I will burst with pride and more than a touch of sadness. We will have weeks and months before […]

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Empty Nest

Sin Pais Mejia Family

Torn Apart: Immigration and the American Family

We look back with sadness and horror at parents and children forcibly separated in centuries past, and then turn our heads when today’s immigration laws tear families apart. Lisa writes: I am the first person to complain about my kids and the trials of parenting.  I am more than happy to indulge in over-analyzing my […]


My Girlfriend Problem

Our son began his senior year in high school and, by October, announced that the girl he had previously described as “just a friend” was now being reclassified as his “girlfriend.” This relationship lasted more than a year during which time she often spent evenings in our home, frequently joining us for dinner. We invited […]

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Parenting and Sports


Saying Goodbye to the Sideline

It is the beginning of the end.  As we stand on the sideline for one final season, watching our high school seniors walk onto the field with their teams, it is a moment to reflect on some of the amazing people we have met. We are breathing in memories from the days when their little legs were […]


Making an Urgent Case for Physical Activity

Mary Dell writes: From the moment we know our children exist, months before we lay eyes on them, we hope and pray for their good health. Unfortunately, the news that Lisa and I learned last week at the Social Good Summit is not all good.  At a session titled Designed to Move: A Physical Activity Action Agenda, […]

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Parenting and Social Media

Mom, stop calling me

“Mom, Stop Calling Me”

The Wall Street Journal published the most recent in a long line of articles in the press berating today’s parents and their millennial offspring for remaining over connected as the younger generation emerges into adulthood. In “Mom, Stop Calling, I’ll Text You All Day” the author suggests that millennials should not use modern technology as a way […]

out of date technology

Stuck in 2014 in our Empty Nest

Lisa writes: 10 months from now my husband and I will truly live in an empty nest and our real problems will begin. With two boys away at college and one to go, we are in a period of transition that helps me get ready for that day when time will stop. Unfortunately, nothing can […]

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Work Life Balance

iRelaunch, Carol Fishman Cohen

Back on the Career Track

Is it time to go back to work?  Or maybe time to change career paths with the kids on the way out the door? As the nest empties, these questions naturally arise.  But where to begin?  If you have been out of the workplace for a number of years, dare we even say a decade […]

Lisa Heffernan on the Today Show: Pros and cons of being a stay-at-home mom

Stay-at-Home Mom With Rebuttals and Regrets

After pondering for 17 years my decision to be a stay-at-home mom, I put my thoughts on paper.  At no point did it occur to me that I would not work outside our home or that one decade or even nearly two would pass before I returned to the workplace.  But days turned into months, […]

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