Lisa writes: What was I thinking?
I have just about finished raising my kids. My youngest has one foot out the door and only senior year in high school stands in the way of his liberation. I know exactly how he feels. During my senior year, I put a huge wall calendar on my bedroom wall and crossed off each day with a black X.
As if that were not enough, I counted backwards from the day I would leave home so that every morning I could stare at the number of days until my release. As a parent I have often thought that my parents must have felt terrible seeing these markings on my calendar, just one step away from a prisoner scratching a tally into the side of her cell wall.
Except that I don’t think my parents felt bad. Yes, they were sorry to see me go, as they would be when my brothers followed, but their life was not about me. Their identity was not about me. And their universe certainly did not revolve around me. In this I think my family was like many others in the 1970s and 1980s.
Yet despite our generation’s belief that “we turned out just fine,” we decided to bring up our children entirely differently than we were brought up. In fact, we only trot out the phrase, “we turned out just fine” when something about our parenting has gone wrong.
Here is where we differed:






