Recent Posts

Summer Vacation: Six ways college and high school kids can make the most of summer jobs and time off

Summer Vacation: More Than Just Summer Jobs

Right about now, high school and college kids are looking for summer jobs and, perhaps, a touch of panic is setting in. The economy has improved but finding a job for just three months, without many skills or a degree, has always been challenging. Good luck to all of the job seekers. While a good […]

Rape in College:What parents need to know

Rape in College: What Parents Need to Know

“I received a call from my daughter on Saturday afternoon. One of her high school friends had suffered a rape in college in California,” a Grown and Flown reader wrote to us. “It was not a student from the campus – she was not drugged, nor was she drunk. She met for a date and […]

Financial aid: Three common mistakes to avoid and expert advice for high school parents

3 Financial Aid Mistakes to Avoid and Other Expert Advice

Mary Dell writes: Oh, January…college-bound seniors have now submitted their last applications and returned to high school for a final, emotional semester. While they turn their attention to a well-deserved victory lap, their parents turn their focus to financial aid. According to Jodi Okun, founder of College Financial Aid Advisors, the timeline for considering financial […]

Grown and Flown: What we are grateful for as bloggers

Grown and Flown, Chocolate Cake and Champagne

Mary Dell writes: On January 18, 2012, Lisa and I held our breath and clicked the “publish” button on Grown and Flown for the very first time. With that single keystroke, our blog was born. We were excited, we clapped, we hugged, we poured ourselves another cup of coffee and sat down again, and wondered, […]

18 Bucket List Ideas for Parents: Year-by-year guide to the childhood "buckets" you don't want to miss

18 Bucket List Ideas for Parents

Life is short, hence the bucket list. The years our children live in our homes are even shorter, thus, here are 18 bucket list ideas for parents, year-by-year. When we are young it feels as though we have forever, but once we have children, it soon becomes clear that we do not. The Sunday morning […]

Teenage drinking - allow it or zero tolerance?

In Defense of Tolerating Teenage Drinking

Marjorie Rosenblatt, physician and guest blogger, writes today on teenage drinking. For every prohibition you create, you also create an underground. Jello Biafra, Dead Kennedys Our teenagers are growing up in a culture of alcohol consumption. With the legal drinking age of 21, binge drinking prior to going out for the night has become the […]

8 Reasons Why My Kids Are Not My Facebook Friends

8 Reasons My Kids Are Not My Facebook Friends

Don’t get me wrong, I wish my kids were my Facebook friends.  I wish they wanted to share their most embarrassing moments with me. I wish they wanted me to know everything about their high school and college lives. Frankly, I would be happy to stalk them and would love nothing better than to pry […]

18 leaves little gashes on my heart, like stinging paper cuts. As he readies for college, I miss him before he is gone and I grieve once he has left.

This is Adolescence: 18

18 is a year overflowing with contradictions. Eighteen wants to be a child forever and yet he cannot wait to grow up. He loves his house and cannot wait to leave it. Eighteen is our teen living in our home and in the same momentous year, an adult residing in another state. On the eve […]

Home for the holidays - Clean is sexy and other motherly advice for sons home for the holidays.

Clean is Sexy and Other Advice for Sons: Home for the Holidays Edition

Earlier this year we shared Clean is Sexy and other bits of motherly wisdom for teen and young adult sons.* As our kids come home for the holidays the impulse to shower them with even more parental guidance seemed irresistible. So along with the gifts and good cheer here is our two-cents worth of advice for […]

Chocolate chip cookies

18th Birthday Ideas for Your College Kid

Mary Dell writes: Name. address. click, click. I type the info into each box, working my way down the page. Yes, three dozen freshly baked chocolate chip cookies and cold milk to be delivered to my daughter’s freshman dorm for her birthday. Yes, her cell number for the delivery person. Credit card. click. click. The […]

College Checklist


College Students: The Parents Learn, Too

Lisa writes: With two sons in college and another working his way in that direction, I should have acquired some real insights into parenting college students, wisdom that only a mother in my position could have gained. Instead, I have learned some very basic truths about life with college students.   Filthy Dorm Rooms College […]

College Graduation, graduate

In Gratitude: Thoughts from a College Graduation

Gabby, a Grown and Flown friend, writes: Returning last week from our oldest daughter’s college graduation, I feel somehow aligned with those graduates, as I am a parent moving from one major life phase to another. During the very joyful weekend, my husband, more literal and fiscally oriented than me, kept repeating  “one down, two […]

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Empty Nest

Dock, staying young, rustic dock

The Tragedy Behind my Class Reunion

Mary Dell writes: There are reunion people and non-reunion people and I am one of the former. The invitation arrives and, almost immediately, I add my name to the list of attendees. I returned for my 30th class reunion last weekend, like I have done every five years, not only to see my former classmates, […]

College Admissions: 16 tips to help you and your teen through the process.

College Admissions: Don’t Go It Alone

Dear Moms, We feel for you, we really do. Since your eldest child entered kindergarten, you have probably heard that nothing in parenting compares to the stress of college admissions. Few of us arrive at this stage without feeling anxiety, and, if it is now your teen’s turn to begin the college hunt, read on. Lisa […]

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Parenting and Sports

team sports, varsity soccer, high school soccer, soccer player

Why Parents Should Push Their Kids to Play Team Sports

One of the great parenting quandaries is when to push our kids and when to back off. This issue surfaces in every aspect of their lives from academics to music lessons to team sports. For each child there is a different answer and for each family a different story, but on the issue of sports, […]


Saying Goodbye to the Sideline

It is the beginning of the end.  As we stand on the sideline for one final season, watching our high school seniors walk onto the field with their teams, it is a moment to reflect on some of the amazing people we have met. We are breathing in memories from the days when their little legs were […]

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Parenting and Social Media

House of Cards

Why I Love Binge Watching

I didn’t know about Mad Men until last year (I know, what planet am I living on?) and then I indulged in binge watching SIX YEARS in a matter of weeks. And suddenly, I had discovered binge watching. With House of Cards due to be released tomorrow, I thought I would look at a few reasons […]

out of date technology

Stuck in 2014 in our Empty Nest

Lisa writes: 10 months from now my husband and I will truly live in an empty nest and our real problems will begin. With two boys away at college and one to go, we are in a period of transition that helps me get ready for that day when time will stop. Unfortunately, nothing can […]

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Work Life Balance


The Day Women Took Over Harvard Business School

Dear Harvard Business School, Celebrating 50 years of women MBA graduates is a major milestone and please accept my sincere thanks for inviting me to the big bash. Here is what I loved about last week’s “W50 Summit:” *I spent time with 800 women, 99% of whom I had never met before. We struck up […]

Lisa Heffernan on the Today Show: Pros and cons of being a stay-at-home mom

Stay-at-Home Mom With Rebuttals and Regrets

After pondering for 17 years my decision to be a stay-at-home mom, I put my thoughts on paper.  At no point did it occur to me that I would not work outside our home or that one decade or even nearly two would pass before I returned to the workplace.  But days turned into months, […]

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