Raising Teens Is Not for the Faint of Heart

We ALL have crap in our lives.
Of course, there is some really serious stuff.

There are worries and then there are real worries.
Cancer vs. potty training. Forty year old having a heart attack vs. negative nelly daughter.
Loss of a job vs. teen experimenting with pot.

There is no perfect parent. (via Twenty20@5byseven)

There is the stuff that keeps us up at night and then there is the REAL stuff that keeps us up at night. In the big scheme of things, we’ll look back on most of it and (hopefully) laugh.

I have sons. We have drama sometimes. But it’s usually short lived. There are no tears (unless they are mine from wanting to pull my hair out). Emotions usually don’t get too high (umm, okay, unless it’s me). My sons do not talk my ear off (as much as I BEG them to sometimes) and for the most part, I have survived 16 years fairly unscathed.

I know that this is not always the case and believe you me, I am not claiming to be mother of the year. Because on any given day I wait for the police to knock on my door asking where that screaming is coming from.

Raising teens is not easy

But raising teenagers is not for the faint of heart. And life has changed since we were all teenagers. Social media for one. Marijuana is legal in many states and people shooting each other-sadly-it’s weekly news.

Kids are experimenting younger and younger. Vaping and drugs are apparently fairly easy for our under 21 children to get their hands on. I think for the most part, we, the parents, are living parallel lives.

We get up each morning and pray that our kids remain safe. And we go to bed each night thankful when we know they are safe. Rinse. Repeat.

Have we failed as parents because our kids have gone off a beaten path? Do we give sideways glances to those parents whose kids “we hear” are throwing up on Saturday nights? Don’t these parents know what’s going on? The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree?

Here’s the thing. That apple…may be your tree.

The parents are not always to blame.
Some. Maybe are.
Most. Are not.

Let’s support each other during this difficult season of life

We are all simply trying to stay afloat. We don’t know what to do when our kid experiments, bullies, smokes, vapes, drinks, inhales, exhales, on and on and on.

Remember Mommy and Me classes? Our kids would sit in a big circle and bang on drums and xylophones and make sounds of mooing cows and sheep that baa? And the mom’s? Remember what we did? We bonded. We talked about our kid not eating anything that wasn’t mac and cheese and we laughed as we cried that our kid was giving up nap time.

Sleep training? I got your back girlfriend.

Kid throwing a party? Yup. Got nothing.

This. THESE years.
The years of puberty and fitting in and acne and smelly armpits and struggling in AP chemistry and failing geometry and liking a girl or not knowing if you should like a girl, texting and sexting and streaks and ticking and tocking

For your child.
And for you.
For us.
We are all overwhelmed.

So remember there is no perfect parent out there. We are all trying to stay afloat on any given day. And hope they/we/you survive the teen years. Let’s help each other now too.

Then check back with me when we are all empty nesters…missing our kids begging them to come home for a visit so we can look back on these trying times
and share in a glass of wine that we made it out alive.

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About Abby Stern

Mom to two; married to one. Most proud of my kids and the art of perfecting my homemade blondies. I can be found on Facebook at Eat the frosting first ranting about motherhood, breast cancer and being a grown up.

Read more posts by Abby

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