A Note to our Long Lost Teenage Daughter:
We are so happy you are enjoying your newfound freedom since you have turned seventeen and passed your driver’s license test. And yes, it was our decision to lease you a car. What were we thinking? Help with the errands, carpooling and being able to drive yourself to and from school. What were we not thinking? Absolutely imperative daily trips to Starbucks, the Diner, Kristin’s house, Chipotle, Starbucks, Fro Yo, Qdoba, Michael’s house, Starbucks, the gym, and oh yes, Starbucks.
While we understand you are seventeen and will be leaving home soon, we are afraid that you may have forgotten where we live. Remember we had you memorize our home address when you were five, in case of “stranger danger?” Good news! You don’t even have to remember it, you just have to program your GPS to our home address, which we can provide, if you have forgotten. Then just hit the home button every so often.
In case you do not remember who we are, we are the ones who fed you, clothed you and had all those birthday parties at those irritating places with the loud music and bubbles. Oh, and we are the ones who have done your laundry and finger painted with you and didn’t complain when you wiped your hands all over the walls.
And remember how much we laughed when we did all those weird things together like dress up in crazy clothes, dance without coordination, and sing off-key to Britney Spears? Yes, that was us! And yes, we still do this when you are not home, even though it is now, “weird” and “uncool.” If you want to come home and join us, just hit the GPS button. We promise we won’t use our cell phone to video you and put it up on Vine or Facebook, but we can’t promise your sister won’t.
Are you starting to remember us? Let me provide you with a few more examples to ring a bell. We were the ones who used to play all those Radio Disney CD’s and other children’s songs over and over in the car because you thought it was the truth that “Everything Tastes Like Chicken,” and that watermelon does grow, “Down by the Bay.” Do you still play them on your own car radio? We are pretty sure you are familiar with the radio station button, but did you know it is right next to the GPS?
Just as a reminder, we are also the ones who dropped you off a block away from middle school so as not to embarrass you, and drove you 90 miles to a soccer game and when we asked why you didn’t try, you uttered because you didn’t like soccer “today.”
And we were the ones who gave you that phone so you can call us in case of emergencies, and we are still waiting for that emergency call, but yet, you always seem to go over data every month?
Now, we are now the ones who happen to live in your house, and happen to park in your spot sometimes. I can understand why you may not remember us because sometimes we may look like your banker, personal shopper, and short order cook. Here is a hint. You will be able to recognize us because we are the ones who annoyingly ask you how your day was, even though you always answer “Good.” And we are the ones who bug you about college applications and SAT prep work. We are also the ones who love you more than anything in this world.
Yes, we are your parents.
So hit the home address on your GPS. We cannot promise there will be no weird dancing, but there will be a hug and a fresh bagel waiting for you.
Mom and Dad