This Sunday will be my first Mother’s Day without a mother. I searched the Internet for suggestions on how to make the day easier, and I didn’t like any of the ideas. “Hold a ritual,” “Reminisce over old photos,” “Write a letter to your mother and read it aloud.”
Nothing sounded like it could even come close to bringing any peace or solace to my heart. I know I’ll be thinking of my mother on Sunday, and that’s not what I want to block out of my mind. What I want is to find a way that has her back at our kitchen table, licking the spoon with the whipped cream from the hot fudge sundae she always had on her visits with us.
I’m going to be doing things my own way on Mother’s Day, without listening to anyone, which, is so very much like the way my mother did everything. The only rules she lived by were her own.
Honoring My Mother on Mother’s Day
This Mother’s Day, I’ll be missing my mother and remembering the most important things I learned from her:
1. Tell a good story with a straight face, no matter how outrageous it is. Never crack a smile during the delivery, and if people say they don’t believe you, tell them it matters not… you were there, and it happened.
2. Buy what you want, but know that it will go on sale. A $300 dress picked up for $150 will feel infinitely more wonderful than five $50 dresses. This rule applies especially to shoes.
3. Never let anyone talk down to you. You may not win, but they’ll leave knowing you are a force to be reckoned with.
4. Walk straight and proud when you approach people. People will know who they are talking to before they even hear the words from your mouth.
5. If you can help someone, do it. If someone is too scared to ask for help, offer it. If someone needs you before they even know they do, be there to make sure the thought never has a chance to cross their mind.
6. Better to let someone who is burying themselves finish talking until they have dug their hole, rather than grabbing the shovel from them and beginning on your own hole.
7. When given the choice between sun and housework, always choose sun.
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Alexandra Rosas is Co-Producer of the Listen To Your Mother Show/Milwaukee. A first-generation American who writes cultural memoir and humor, Alexandra performs as a national storyteller with The Moth and was the 2013 Milwaukee Moth Grand StorySLAM champion.
She has been named a BlogHer Voice of the Year four years running and has been published in several anthologies. She is a regular contributor to Milwaukee Public Radio, Huffington Post, Purple Clover, and was recently named the National Gold Award recipient by Parenting Media Association for her MetroParent Milwaukee column, MomLogic. A Babble Top 100 Mom Blogger and featured on TodayParents as one of 2015’s Funniest Parents on Facebook, you can follow Alexandra on Facebook, her blog Good Day, Regular People, or twitter. She lives with her family in Cedarburg, Wisconsin.