The Funny, Shocking Things Your Teens and College Kids Don’t Know

Little kids are notorious for unknowingly saying funny things, but sometimes, our big kids can be pretty hilarious too. We recently shared a tweet by @Parkerlawyer that said, “My daughter in college texted me and asked where to go to get air in her tires. I told her the gas station and I swear on all that is holy her response was this, “I only have $88 in my bank account. Will it cost more than that?”

The post sparked a slew of comments from our Grown and Flown Parents, who could relate all too well. We just had to share the funniest stories we received about what our kids don’t know.

The funny things your kids don’t know…

“What my high school/college kid didn’t know…”

  1. “When my son was a freshman in high school the athletic physical asked who to call in an emergency. He put 911.”
  2. “Mine called me from college where he was doing his laundry for the first time and asked me if he had to stay and move the knob through the different cycles on the washer.”
  3. “My friend’s son went to the quick care by himself for the first time when he was in college. After he turned in the form he filled out and the back erupted in laughter he figured that the answer to ‘primary care provider’ wasn’t ‘mom’.”
  4. “My son was a freshman in college when he texted me to ask how to make a can of Campbell’s soup. I told him to mix the soup with one can of water and then heat it up. His response…”What’s a can of water?”
  5. “I was driving with my 16-year-old daughter and she pointed at a No Tailgating sign and said why would anyone want to do that here. At first I was confused. And then I realized she thought it meant No Tailgating (party) not No Tailgating (riding on someone’s bumper). I laughed the whole way home. It still makes me chuckle when I pass the sign.”
  6. “My college graduate (engineer) FaceTimed me because he couldn’t open a can of biscuits. He was using a can opener.”
  7. “My college freshman daughter moves into her dorm and asks me the next day if I can come change out her toilet paper holder like the one we have at home because the dorm one requires two hands to put on a new roll of toilet paper (and ours at home only requires one hand)!!! Needless to say, I told her No. She survived and graduated college to become a high school math teacher!”
  8. “My daughter FaceTimed me from her room in the sorority house and pointed the phone at a phone jack and said ‘we were wondering if you would happen to know what this is?’”
  9. “My daughter was 20 and I asked her if she had seen a recent movie. She said – ‘no mom, it’s rated R.’ I asked her why she hadn’t gone to a rated R movie yet and she said ‘you never told me I could.’”
  10. “My 20-year-old daughter called a local business this past weekend and got a busy signal. She put the phone up to my ear and asked “what is this?” When I told her it was a busy signal she looked confused and asked ‘What does that mean? What do I do, just wait until they pick up my call?’”
  11. My son: “Mom, I need to put gas in the car but I don’t have enough money on my bank card.”

Me: “Do you have cash?”

My son: “Yes”

Me: “Just pay with cash then.” My son: “THEY TAKE CASH?!”

I think these stories just prove that as hard as we may try to teach them, our teens won’t exactly know everything before they leave the nest. And that’s ok. Because part of growing up is figuring it out on your own. And part of being a parent is sometimes we get to laugh with them as they try!

More to Read:

33 Life Skills to Teach Your Teens to Adult

About Janene Dutt

Janene Dutt is the creator of the popular humor and parenting site, I Might Be Funny and the author of All About Mom and Me: a Journal for Mothers and Daughters.

Read more posts by Janene

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