In my younger years, I was always surrounded by lots of amazing girls who grew up to be amazing women. I had a group with whom I used to frequent Chinese restaurants, TGIF Fridays, and every frozen yogurt stand in a 10-mile radius during the weekends.
We stayed after school to talk, we’d walk each other home, and the hours clocked on our rotary phones would put my kids’ texting game to shame. True friendship means you sometimes fall asleep mid-conversation and wake up on your purple shag carpet at 2 am in a puddle of drool and picking up your conversation where you left off.
We would get ready for dances in groups; there were about 6 of us and we’d pile into someone’s bedroom listening to George Michael and Tiffany while we filled the bedroom with hairspray and daydreams. We talked about boys and put on our floral dresses with stars in our eyes. Then we’d meet in the bathroom regularly to check in on those daydreams.
It felt good to be surrounded by lots of people and while we all had a bestie within the group, we still needed what each person brought to our high school experience.
The same thing happened in college–I had a core group of hilarious bad-ass women who got me. But I also had different friends from different friends from different circles. I liked being social and getting to know lots of people and for a long time, that is how I needed my life to me. I craved variety and liked to have options.
As the years go by, it’s funny how you hone in on what’s important to you. For me, it became clear after having kids I didn’t have the desire for a lot of friends anymore (or the time for that matter).
Who is Your Best Friend?
I felt a huge shift inside myself and wondered what it was. My whole life I’d had lots of friends buzzing around me, but as my family grew, I realized the value in true friendships.
There is nothing like having a friend who loves your kids as if they are their own.
There is nothing like having someone who you can call when you have had the life sucked out of you by a horrible life-changing event and they tell you that they will be there tomorrow to pick you up despite the fact that they live five hours away.
There is nothing like having someone who gets why you can’t get back to them, instantly, all the time.
There is nothing like knowing a soul who gets yours and wants to spend time with you because you give them exactly what they give you.
I’ve been lucky enough to have that with my best friend, and over the years, she has consistently set the standard so incredibly high that I no longer feel the need for quantity in the friend department.
Quality is where it’s at.
If I have free time, it’s her that I call and text.
When I talk to my teenagers about relationship and friendships and all the hurt they can cause, she is my motivation for encouraging them to set their standards high.
Having someone in your life who teaches you things you never knew about yourself because they see you in a way you aren’t always able to see yourself isn’t something to be taken for granted. Even better they will be damned if you ever forget how amazing you are.
I don’t want to be “blessed” with a ton of friends. I am the luckiest person in the world because I have one true friend, a best friend who has been in my life for over twenty-five years and our relationship has not ebbed or flowed or wavered.
It’s been solid, it always will be solid and as corny as this sounds, it needs to be said: There is nothing missing in my life because I don’t have a tribe. She is all I’ll ever need.
And the reason I love her so is because she isn’t afraid to make me live up to the best version of myself. She isn’t afraid to tell me I say really corny things during an emotional moment when I’m expressing my gratitude for her friendship. And she never lets me leave a store without the one thing I need to live my best life even if I make a million excuses as to why I shouldn’t purchase it.
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