Texts You Don’t Want to Get From Your College Freshman

Here are the texts you don’t want to get from your college freshman.

college student on phone
Parents do not want these texts from their college freshmen. (Twenty20 @jacobandrews64)

Texts from College Freshmen

vaping or cigarettes?
obviously both are bad but which is actually worse

random question
is there any way i can double major or is 5 years completely out of the question

ugh mom
[then silence for four days]
yeah im fine
sorry I didn’t text you back

can i drop a class this late in the semester
or is it better to take the F
really DONT need a lecture right now

wait so is there no way to exchange the plane ticket

r u awake
im so stressed like im only halfway done with this 10 page paper thats due tomorrow
what are some examples of the philosophical viewpoint of waiting for godot

left all my clothes in the washing machine since tuesday
they smell disgusting
should i still dry them

ok you have to promise not to freak out

i feel shaky and nauseous
my heart is beating so fast
six cups of coffee is too much right

does car insurance go up after the first accident
what if no one got hurt

how bad is it to drink beer when you have bronchitis
would kombucha help

can i have only money for my birthday present
wait can i have it early

is this a good first sentence
since the beginning of time women have been through alot of inequalities

my roommate took all my clothes that were on the floor and shoved them under my bed
why is he so annoying

its not plagiarism if you paraphrase a blogger right

not sure what you thought structural engineering was
but my childhood obsession with legos has no relationship whatsoever

im thinking i might live in nyc for the summer
internship or something
hopefully paid

mom its me texting from maxs phone
i lost mine
email if you need to get in touch

you never responded to my photo
ingrown toenail or some kind of fungus

im out of clean underwear
and socks
and laundry detergent
dishwasher and laundry pods are pretty much the same right
please say yes

remember when you told me my happiness was more important than good grades

fine you were right
boots would be helpful in boston
can you mail my winter coat too

you know that study abroad program in barcelona im all signed up for
its not official so much as ill be living there with some fraternity brothers and taking a few online classes
still full cultural immersion and everything

i found a sweaty tshirt under my bed
its all stiff
might not be mine
should i throw it away

im worried im going to sleep through chem again
can you start calling me at 5:17 tomorrow morning and keep calling until i answer

im already out of data
and apple storage
and contact lenses

is it ok if i didn’t finish all my antibiotics
like basically half
gave some to my roommate cause he was coughing
now cant find the rest

is it still called a gap year if you take it between freshman and sophomore year

you didnt see my finsta story did you
ok nevermind

its actually fine if you don’t come to parents weekend

You will Also Enjoy:

College Kid is Too Busy to Text You Back? That’s a GOOD Thing

8 Classic Middle of the Night Phone Calls From Freshmen

About Laurie Spielvogel

Laurie Spielvogel works as a Teaching Professor at Penn State and lives in State College, Pennsylvania with her husband and three teens. Can we all agree that the silver lining of raising teenagers (and toddlers, their sucky younger brethren) is that we can make fun of them? Her creative work has been published in Points in Case, Kugelmass, Freerange Nonfiction, Hippocampus, and Anthropology and Humanism. Drawing upon her training as a cultural anthropologist, she's launching a cooking blog with international recipes that require stocking the pantry with only five key ingredients for each style of cuisine (http://5pantryingredients.weebly.com). She can be contacted by email at spielvogelwrites@gmail.com.

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