My youngest will be moving across the country in a few months, so my nest will be empty very soon and honestly I don’t feel ready. I heard moms are never completely ready. In fact, my dear friend who just went through an empty nest told me to make sure I prepare for it early,
Don’t wait until they’re all gone to fill up the space and time you’ll have. Plan for it now.
I sold and bought a new home on my own
A few months ago I decided it was time to sell my kids’ childhood home. The thought of living here in this house that’s too big with so much land to take care of was overwhelming to me. I’ve never sold or bought a home by myself–-my ex-husband was always there with me and we did it together.
I was scared and not sure what to expect but I did it, we are under contract, and I’ve found a new home that I absolutely love. It was freeing to do it on my own and not have to consider anyone else’s opinions. It was fun to pick out a place that was perfect for me and everything I wanted and work in a time frame that was good for me.
The changes didn’t stop there. I’ve been a writer for almost ten years now, and lately with my kids gone, I’ve felt isolated and I’ve been craving more connection. I also have a deep need at this age to make a difference in peoples’ lives and help them. I loved my career as a writer when my kids were younger because it allowed me so much flexibility. I didn’t miss a thing. I made it to every game, practice, school dance, and the highlight of my day was getting to and from school every day.
Now that my kids are gone I’m ready for something new
But now that that routine is gone and, while I’ll always write because I love it so much, I know for my mental health I need to get out of the house more. I need more variety in my life so I want to try some different things and start a new challenge. I still don’t know what that will be but whether I get a part time job, or start a completely different career, I need to do something different. And the beauty of it is, I can do whatever I want.
Do you see where I’m going with this? It may sound selfish to some people, but at fifty years old while I’m going through so many different transitions, I’m glad I don’t have a partner’s feelings to consider because I can literally work and live wherever I want.
I can take a month to travel. I can volunteer for a year and figure out my next career move. I can rent a studio apartment if I want. I can move to a different state. I can sell everything I own and completely start over because everything is up to me.
If I had a partner I would have to consider what they wanted
If I was married or in a relationship, of course, there would certainly be a lot of perks. The support and love of another person is amazing. But they might not want to do the things I want to do. They might not want to move or travel or sell their things.
So I’m looking at the bright side of things here. And I see a huge silver lining to completely reinventing myself and starting over. There’s freedom in coming and going as I please and finding a new place to live without having to take someone else’s feelings into consideration.
I can wallow in self-pity or embrace change
I never thought I’d be in this place; facing an empty nest and midlife alone with so many decisions at my feet, but here I am. I can wallow in self pity because all these transitions are unsettling or I can embrace the fact that this is a chance for me to do whatever the heck I want without answering to anyone.
I haven’t been at this pace since I graduated college almost thirty years ago. And you know, I’m not that bad at it. It’s coming back to me pretty easily, and I feel empowered and happy even though I’m not sure what the future has in store for me. These last few months have shown me I’m pretty excited and wouldn’t have it any other way.
It’s funny how even if life doesn’t look the way you thought it would, everything really does work out.
More Great Reading:
Midlife Is When You Should be Reaching for Your Goals, Like this Mom
