Let’s be real: you asking your kid what they want to be when they grow up for the umpteenth time isn’t going to create a lightbulb moment.
And you asking them to share their feelings or limiting beliefs will probably get an eye roll. So what CAN you ask your teen to connect with them and get them excited about their future?
5 Powerful Questions to ask your teen
We’ve developed 5 Powerful Questions that will surely spark new ideas within your teen and hopefully a sense of excitement and motivation to boot!
The key to asking powerful questions is to frame them as empowering and open-ended. Powerful questions encourage self-discovery and an understanding of what is possible.
Powerful Question #1: What would you do after graduation if money weren’t a factor and nothing bad could happen?
We love this question. Sometimes teens get stuck on a specific career path because they think it’s the only way to “make good money.”
At Ready, MindSet, Go! (RMG), we’ve interviewed dozens of high schoolers who have told us, before starting the program, that they wanted to go into banking or finance — but when we dig into WHY they’ve decided on these careers, it’s clear money is the driving factor.
After completing the RMG program, these same teens have entirely new ideas about what they want to do (those that are much more aligned with their personalities and interests).
What’s more? They realize they can make good money in a job they will love!
By asking this question and taking money out of the equation, you’ll understand what your teen may want to do with their life vs. what they think they should do.
Powerful Question #2: What would make you jump out of bed at 6 am on a Saturday?
Here is another question we love to ask. We’ve found it to be a less annoying, less ‘parenty’ way of asking a child about their interests and motivations. A child’s answer to this question will show you what they’re passionate about and what energizes them. And by understanding this, you may get ideas for careers that could be well aligned.
For example, if your child will wake up at 6 am to watch or attend a soccer game, perhaps they could find a career in the Sporting industry. And this isn’t to say they have to play a sport — they could work in marketing at ESPN, write for a sports publication, or perhaps even do development work on a sports betting mobile app.
If it’s attending a Billie Eilish concert, the Music industry might spark their interest. Would they ever be interested in becoming a musician’s agent? What about a music/sound editor? Public relations exec?
Our point is: that everyone is motivated by something. And you can find a good job and career doing pretty much anything.
Powerful Question #3: If you could drop one thing in your life without consequence (a person, a subject, a class, an activity), what would it be?
In life, it’s just as helpful to be acutely aware of what you don’t like as what you do like.
High schoolers are often required to take classes they may find tedious or enroll in activities they may not enjoy (all in bolstering their college application). You must give your child a safe space to share what they don’t want — what drains them — because, ultimately, this knowledge will be precious when figuring out their career path.
If they’ve always been bored in science class, for example, perhaps going pre-med isn’t the best path for them (even if both their parents are doctors).
Kids must understand what drains their energy — because doing something that energizes them will be vital to finding a career they love.
When they answer this question, dig into the WHY. You may learn more about your child by asking what they don’t like than you would by asking about what they do.
Powerful Question #4: Who in your life seems to have the coolest job?
This is a fun question to ask because it’s actionable!
What do we mean by this? When your child tells you who they think has an incredible job, you’ll help them find a way to talk to that person.
Encourage your child to reach out to that professional on LinkedIn*, asking for 15 mins of their time to find out what they do.
The benefits of this little exercise are twofold:
- Your child will get a clear idea of what this job is like daily (maybe they won’t think it’s so cool after all — maybe they will).
- By forging a new connection with a person they admire, your child is beginning to build their professional network.
*Stuck on what to say? The Ready MindSet Go! program lays it all out for you! RMG provides students with proven outreach strategies, email templates, tracking spreadsheets and more to create the foundation for a lasting professional network.
Powerful Question #5: What would you go for this year if you knew you couldn’t fail or be rejected?
Most teens today are overwhelmed with pressure and feelings of unworthiness & lack of confidence (much thanks to the comparison game exacerbated by social media).
Fear of rejection in teens is real and raw. But as many of us know, rejection is inevitable for everyone, especially the most successful. As parents, we need to encourage failure. Encourage rejection. Because on the other side of rejection is growth and redirection.
The best way to prepare for rejection is to be rejected. Over and over. To build up resilience.
After you ask this question to your teen, whatever their answer (whether it’s trying out for Cheer squad captain, asking the most popular kid to prom, or running for class president), encourage them to go for it.
And prepare them to be just as proud if they fail.
About Ready MindSet Go!
Ready MindSet Go! (RMG) is the transformational program giving high school students a head-start to their successful future. Students will be inspired to uncover careers and industries that align with their values, skillsets & passions while learning the strategy to build a long-lasting professional network. The creators are Melanie Feldman and Julia Martin.
Check out our Ready MindSet Go! Free Trial, where you will have access to some of our favorite modules.
Any questions about the program? We would LOVE to hear from you (we mean it!). Feel free to email (firstname.lastname@example.org) with thoughts, questions, feedback (anything!)