It’s really really hard
I was talking to a friend the other day who also blogs.
And when I say talking I mean texting,
And we both blog and were saying how there is so much we want to write about.
Because when we write, it’s therapeutic.
And sometimes we want to write just to make ourselves feel good.
And sometimes we want to write to tell the world something that we wish everyone would understand.
Or sometimes we write because we want to say that we do not know a soul in PEOPLE magazine anymore.
Sometimes what I want to write about is how parenting is really really hard.
And when your kids are little it’s really really hard but in a whole different kind of really really hard way.
Like it’s hard in a sleep deprived, sweatpants for days, can’t pee by yourself, want to rip your hair out kind of way.
And then it gets a bit easier because they are talking and peeing in a toilet and putting on little velcro shoes and are happy watching a big purple dinosaur while you actually take a shower for longer than 45 seconds.
And then it’s hard again because they are making friends and losing friends and struggling in math and getting zits.
And they are watching a world on social media flash before their innocent, growing, unsure minds and are trying to navigate this world that we never had to navigate.
Stop and think about that one for a minute.
We thought our teenage years sucked sometimes and we didn’t see parties and dates and friends lives that we were not included in- be splashed out for all the world to see- to make your heart crush that you were not included in the parties and dates and friends lives.
And then it’s hard when your teenagers say they don’t care (but they really do but don’t want you to know they really do) or they’re crying in their pillows (because that was me while listening to Air Supply for many a nights during my 15th cycle around the sun) or they really don’t care but YOU care and are wondering why they DON’T care.
Shouldn’t they care?
Parenting is hard.
I don’t care which
it’s really really hard.
And it’s hard because occasionally we realize we have lost our shit.
We are not perfect and we yell.
And we say things we shouldn’t to our growing, unsure, precious children.
And it’s only because this parenting thing is really really hard
And we are all only doing our best.
And our kids are doing their best too.
(Sometimes )(unless they have homework to do or need to take out the garbage and then I’m not sure they’re really doing their best)
They are swimming in a giant ocean which now has this giant see through glass bottom boat for all the world to look at (damn you social media)
(But thank you social media for promoting my blog)
I realize parenting is going to get easier again.
Until it gets hard again.
Because at some point my kids will go to college or off on their own and I don’t get to make sure they are sleeping and breathing in their beds every night.
And then I will be blogging about how much I love Xanax.
Parenting is one of those things that one day you rocked it
and one day you’re pretty sure you failed at it
but here’s what I realized
and I hope you get this too….
as long as you love your kids
unconditionally kind of love
and remind them they are worthy
and they have choices
LOTS OF CHOICES
and remind them that we all have failure kind of lose our shit days
but manage to rock it too..
we have done good.
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Abby Stern is mom to two; married to one. Most proud of her kids and the art of perfecting the homemade chocolate chip cookie. Wants to be a writer when she grows up. You can follow her at eat the frosting first on Facebook (A lesson she lives by after battling cancer twice.)