Two years ago, I spent my first Mother’s Day husband-less. The pity party for myself began a few months earlier– not something I like to admit as there are bigger problems in the world but, I am human and indulge in feeling sorry for myself sometimes.
My first Mother’s Day as a divorced woman seemed like an acceptable time to let the negative energy flow so, I went with it.
Until a few days before Mother’s Day that is.
The Mother’s Day Tradition That Brings Me Joy
I woke up on that sunny May morning and realized I could do whatever I wanted on that day. Yes, it would be my first one alone in my life but I decided to take on the challenge and make new traditions for myself, and for my kids.
Lo and behold, it was an amazing day.
We laid around for hours then had our way with the Chinese buffet and came back home and parked our rears on the sofa again to continue our Netflix marathon but, I realized something: I had everything I needed in that room.
I could have continued feeling sad about the fact that my marriage was ending and I no longer had anyone to get the kids ready (after a few reminders) and take me out to a nice brunch so I could wear a nice outfit and have a nice time. I could have continued to have high expectations about how the day should go, which always ended in disappointment. But, I decided not to.
And after cashing in my son’s coupon to rub my feet, I decided I was going to treat myself to a pedicure the next day after I dropped them off at school. It was my gift to myself and bam, my new Mother’s Day traditions were set in stone and now it’s one of my favorite days of the year.
Chinese food, time with my kids, and a pedicure the day after as something to look forward to might not sound like much but it’s brought me so much happiness on a day I thought would be horrible.
If you find yourself alone, whether this is your first Mother’s Day or your tenth as a single mom, please make yourself count in any way you can.
Don’t gloss over the day and tell yourself (or family members who want to make it special for you) that you don’t need a damn thing because you don’t need to start believing that lie.
Celebrate yourself–no matter how small–on that day, or the next, or throughout the whole week which is what I’ve decided to do this year.
It doesn’t have to be extravagant and no one needs to put on heels or a dress but please do if that’s your jam– it certainly is mine so if you see someone in stilettos loading up on fried rice in a few Sundays, it’s probably me.
Order yourself that book, stay in your robe all day, buy your favorite cake from the bakery, tell your kids you want a whole day with them or a whole day without them– this day is yours and it’s up to you to celebrate yourself whether you are alone, partnered, your heart is broken, or you feel incredibly free and liberated.
You have the winter holidays and birthdays and really, every other day out of the entire year to ignore yourself and your wants and needs if you wish. Mother’s Day is YOUR day. No longer being married does not change that.
It’s not called Spouse Day, or Wife Day, or Partner Day.
It’s called Mother’s Day so the mothers of the world can be celebrated, and it’s your job to make sure that happens.
And if you think it’s not fun to step in and do something for yourself and plan something that makes you feel special, I have no problem telling you how wrong you actually are.
I’ll just be over here counting the days until I can out-eat my kids at the buffet, make them rub my hair, and put my feet in a hot, soapy bath and think about what a damn good mother I am.
Because you are worth celebrating.
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