I’ve always been a Taylor Swift fan. I love and connect to her music, but I can’t say I’m a Swiftie or follow football. I didn’t even know who Travis Kelce was until I saw a video last week of Taylor and Travis leaving the Chiefs game in Kelce’s convertible and thought, Oh, he’s cute; hope they are happy. Then, I went on with my life.
Well, everything changed on Sunday when I saw yet another video of them leaving the Saturday Night Live show. Nothing will ever be the same for me now, and I’ve become more invested in their relationship than I am in my own life.
I’m a bit obsessed with Taylor and Travis’s relationship
I’m driving my teenagers a bit crazy because all I can do is talk about it, and they seem to think I should still perform daily tasks like making dinner and picking them up from school with my head on straight. That’s not happening, though.
The reason so many of us are so invested in this story (I think) is actually very simple: Travis’s body language when he is around Taylor says everything we need to know about him and how he feels about her. I could go on and on about how Travis let the bodyguard know he wanted to open the car door for Taylor. I could gush for hours about how she seemed to be so relaxed with him. And then there’s the way he holds her hand between his. Swoon.
Yes, they are huge stars who live a lifestyle nothing like mine. But that honestly is only a small part of our fascination with them. His gestures are meaningful; he’s truly in awe of her and knows she is precious. He is looking out for her and values her.
I want my kids to wait for a person like Travis
Of course, it’s the beginning of their relationship, and none of us know what will happen. But that’s not the point here. The point I’ve been (trying) to make thousands of times to my kids over this week is that I want them to wait for their Travis.
Wait for that person who makes you feel at ease and loves you exactly as you are. Wait for that person who values you supports you, and lets you know they see you.
Spending time with a potential partner who makes you second guess how they feel about you, plays games, doesn’t want to label your relationship, or gives you anxiety isn’t healthy. Find a partner who calms you; pay attention to how your nervous system is when you are around them.
If you are always wondering how your partner really feels about you, that’s not okay
If you constantly wonder where you stand with them and have to ask how they feel about you, that’s not okay. Ever.
No doubt exists in anyone’s mind about how Travis feels about Taylor. And I’ve seen couples like that in real life: I have an aunt and uncle who have been married for decades and are clearly each other’s person. My cousin is married to a wonderful woman, and they have each other’s back so hard no one will ever question their relationship.
Is love like that rare? Yes. Are women constantly being called things like “old lady,” “the ball and chain,” and “a pain in the butt” and told we are high maintenance and complicated and emotional? Yeah. Do we feel unseen? You bet we do.
Simple gestures such as holding hands like you mean it, letting your partner know you have their back, and paying attention to how we treat our partners are more meaningful than any material gift you can buy.
True security is when your person looks at you and says, “I’ve got you.” It’s when you know, without question, they are consistent and will do what they tell you they will do.
It’s too easy to take your partner for granted
It’s so easy to stop seeing each other and take one another for granted. And well, I’m just going to say it: I think a big reason many of us are so invested and attracted to the way Travis treats Taylor has nothing to do with his size or looks or the fact he’s a famous football player. We are going bonkers because we want to be seen like he sees Taylor.
We want our partner to reach out for our hand, look out for us, and open the door for us. And we want to do the same for them because a bond like that builds a stable foundation.
I also have to add that I will step off my soapbox; as a woman who has been dating for over seven years, I truly hope the single people who say they want a relationship take notes from Travis.
It’s easy. This is not brain surgery. See and value your partner. Full stop.
More Great Reading: