We’ve all seen a mom (or twenty) of a senior crying at their child’s graduation, their child’s last sporting/music/theatre event, their child’s first day of senior year, and every other last that comes with graduating. My mom has already warned me, as I head into my senior year, that she plans on being “one of those moms.”
She often justifies it by bringing up that I’m planning to go to college 8 hours away from home, so she’s allowed to be extremely emotional. She didn’t get this emotional when my sister graduated, but my sister stayed close to home, so this is different. She’s excited for me and with me, but she’s going to miss me.
Mama, you try to explain to me why you’re going to be sad, and why you should be allowed to be sad. But what I want you to know, is that I’m going to miss you too.
Mom, I’m going to miss you
Even though I’ve already found what will be my go-to pizza spot near my future college, I’m going to miss pizza nights with you.
Even though I already have a playlist ready for my long drives to and from college, I’m going to miss car rides with you.
Even though I already know where they have movie nights on campus, I’m going to miss movie nights with you.
Even though I already have plans on where I can go for Thanksgiving that isn’t an 8 hour drive, I’m going to miss Thanksgiving with you.
Even though I’ve already decided where my favorite study spots will be on campus, I’m going to miss studying in a room with you.
Even though Netflix comes with me to college, I’m going to miss binge watching shows with you.
Even though they’ll have baked goods in the dining hall, I’m going to miss baking things with you.
Even though I already know where I can go to take walks while I’m at college, I’m going to miss taking walks with you.
Even though I’ll undoubtedly create inside jokes with the people I meet at school, I’m going to miss referencing the inside jokes I have with you.
Even though when we went out for my visit you and I discovered an ice cream shop close to campus that I can go to, I’m going to miss ice cream runs with you.
Even though I constantly talk about how excited I am for college and everything that comes after, I’m going to miss how things were and all the time we used to spend together.
So when people hand you tissues since they know you’re the mom of a senior, I might need to borrow some of them, because yes, I’m extremely excited for my future, but with you I’ve had a great past, and I’m sad to let that go.
I’m thankful for the support you’ve given me and that you haven’t tried to hold me back from pursuing what I want, but I have hesitations about this, too.
So when you see me smiling on my last first day of school, and when I come home with decor for my future dorm room, and when I toss my cap in the air at graduation, remember that behind that zestful senior is a daughter who’s going to miss you. A daughter who’s going to be excited to come home to see you. A daughter who’s going to think about you. A daughter who loves you, and all the time she’s shared with you for all of these years.
Our relationship will change
Our relationship is changing, not ending, and I know we’ll keep it going in new ways, some of which we’ve already discussed. But just like you’re allowed to miss how things were, I am too, and I will.
So if people ask what I’m going to miss about home, well, that one will be easy mama:
I’m going to miss you (too).
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Anna Spencer is a high school student going into her senior year, with plans to attend Messiah College after high school. She spends most of her time dancing.