Ten Things Teens Really Wish Their Parents Knew About Them

Growing up as a part of Generation Z is quite a bit different than how our parents grew up. While many things are the same, there are new challenges that come with growing up in an age of technology and social media. Here are some things that my friends and I have discussed that we wish our parents knew:

family on beach
What teens with their parents knew about them. (Madeleine Korn)

Parents, your teens wish you knew this…

  1. Don’t compare our challenges to your challenges as a teen

I’m sure life was difficult growing up for almost everyone. And the struggles you may have faced may seem worse than the struggles that we face. But that doesn’t mean that our feelings aren’t valid. Saying, “I had it much worse” invalidates what we are feeling.

Instead, try to empathize with your child. Even though it may seem like your teen is overreacting about not making the soccer team, or forgetting their homework, or being excluded, things like this feel like huge issues to teenagers.

  1. Treat your son(s) and daughters(s) equally

It isn’t fair to allow your son to stay out until midnight at age 16, but make your daughter come home at 9 pm. Be sure to ask both your son(s) and your daughter(s) to help with things such as cleaning the house, doing dishes, mowing the lawn, taking out the trash, and helping with groceries.

  1. Have open conversations with us

Don’t make certain topics off limits. Talk about sex, relationships, mental health, drugs, and alcohol. It is normal for teens to experiment with risky behaviors, but it is much safer if teens feel comfortable enough to ask questions and talk to you about these behaviors.

  1. Words hurt

Even if you think what you’re saying is helpful, be mindful that many teens are especially sensitive to what you say and take it very much to heart. Your child truly does look up to you as a person, so even little, off the cuff remarks that you might not think could be hurtful can damage a child’s self-image quite a bit. Think about what you’re saying and try to say it in a constructive way.

  1. Privacy and trust are important

Don’t go through your child’s things randomly if you don’t have a reason to. Don’t read your child’s journal. This just breaches their trust and teaches them to be more sneaky. Don’t constantly ask your child if they were out drinking or doing drugs. Believe them when they tell you where they were.

  1. Being a teen is stressful and sometimes we just need a break

Teenagers have a lot on their plate, including having to deal with the stress of getting good grades and high ACT or SAT scores, completing college applications, and participating our extracurricular activities. Let them relax sometimes and don’t constantly remind them to do this or that; sometimes they just need a break. Also, if your child is no longer interested in a sport they are good at, let it go. You shouldn’t force them to do a sport if they are not enjoying it.

  1. Growing up with social media, self-confidence can be difficult

Social media allows us to constantly see other people’s lives and how happy they seem. It can be difficult to feel confident when we see how perfect other people look in their photos.

  1. We appreciate you even if we don’t always show it

We are always grateful for everything you have done for us, whether it’s packing us lunch or taking us to sports practice. We are truly thankful, so you don’t have to keep reminding us “look at everything I do for you” even if we seem ungrateful at times.

  1. Let us express ourselves without judgement

A huge part of being a teenager is trying to figure out who you are and what you want to do with your life. A lot of teens are still trying to find themselves, which can explain why many teenagers might dress “oddly” or wear things that you wouldn’t have worn. Don’t judge them for their choice in clothing, hairstyles, etc.

  1. Not every conversation has to be a lesson

If your child is telling you a story or something that happened to them, don’t always try to turn it into a lesson. If you do this, they may be hesitant to tell you what is actually going on in their lives.

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About Madeleine Korn

Madeleine Korn will be a senior communication student at UC Santa Barbara. She was an intern for United Airlines in both 2018 and 2019, where she was involved in projects to improve the customer experience. This past year she was advertising director for The Bottom Line newspaper at UC Santa Barbara. She loves writing and creating videos and is very excited about being an intern at Grown and Flown.

Read more posts by Madeleine

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