Yesterday I found myself sitting in my car in the school parking lot. Not coming, not going—just sitting there with the engine off for a full 15 minutes after drop-off, enjoying the beautiful sound of ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
No arguments about homework. No complaints about what’s for dinner. No detailed explanation of why this particular teacher “literally hates me for no reason.”
Just blissful silence.
Fellow parents of teenagers, I see you nodding.
The 10 truths about parenting
After 17 years of parenting—with my oldest now driving (prayers appreciated) and my youngest fully embracing teen attitude—here are the raw truths nobody warned me about…
1. You will become incredibly stupid overnight
One day your child thinks you’re the smartest person alive, and the next day you apparently know NOTHING about ANYTHING.
According to my 15-year-old, I don’t understand “how the world works now,” despite somehow managing to survive to adulthood. The eye rolls alone could power a small city.
2. Their phone is surgically attached to their hand
I’m convinced my daughter’s phone has become a literal extension of her body. I’ve caught her texting in the shower with her phone wrapped in a plastic bag.
DURING. THE. SHOWER.
When I suggested a “phone-free dinner,” you’d think I’d proposed we start eating rocks.
3. Every conversation becomes a negotiation
“Be home by 10” somehow translates to “Begin a 45-minute debate about why 11:30 is actually a much more reasonable time.”
They should all become lawyers with the argumentative skills they’re developing. I’ve started setting fake deadlines an hour earlier than the real one just to end up where I wanted in the first place.
4. You’ll need a second job just for the grocery bill
Nobody—and I mean NOBODY—warned me that teenagers don’t just eat food, they inhale it. My son once ate an entire lasagna I’d made for the family dinner. Before dinner. As a “snack.” We had to order takeout.
5. They will break your heart and put it back together in the same day
This morning, my daughter snapped at me for “breathing too loudly” while she was studying. Two hours later, she texted me a meme that perfectly captured an inside joke between us. These whiplash-inducing emotional shifts are normal, apparently.
6. Their mess defies the laws of physics
How can one teenage human create SO MUCH LAUNDRY?
How can a bedroom that was clean 24 hours ago now look like it’s been ransacked by wild animals? There are dishes in my son’s room that I don’t even recognize from our kitchen, they have been gone so long.
7. You’ll worry in ways you never imagined
Remember when you worried they might fall off the jungle gym? Those were simpler times.
Now you lie awake wondering if they’re making good choices at parties, if that friend is really a good influence, if they’re hiding struggles they don’t want to burden you with.
The worrying evolves but never ends. And I mentioned the driving, there has never been a more heart-stopping worry.
8. Their bedroom door will become a sacred boundary
Remember when they couldn’t bear to let you out of their sight? Those days are GONE. Their bedroom is now a sovereign nation with strictly enforced borders.
Knocking is no longer optional—it’s required by international law.
And that smell coming from under the door? Just consider it their national scent.
9. Their friends will become more important than oxygen
The social drama is INTENSE and CONSTANT. Names you’ve never heard will suddenly be the most important people in the universe. Group chats will ding at all hours.
Social dynamics will shift faster than you can keep track. Just listen without judgment when they share the latest saga.
10. The rare moments of connection become precious beyond words
Last night, my son—the same one who barely looks up when I enter a room—sat on my bed and told me about his college dreams for thirty minutes.
I remained perfectly still, like I was observing a rare wild animal that might spook at any sudden movement.
I didn’t dare move in case he stopped speaking. These moments sustain you through the wilderness of raising teens.
So to all the parents entering the teen years: lower your expectations, increase your grocery budget, and remember that beneath the attitude is still your child—just wrapped in hormones, insecurity, and a lot of your disposable income.
They’ll emerge eventually. And somehow, against all odds, you’ll miss even the hard parts when they’re gone.
Or so I’m told. I’ll get back to you on that one.
The author wishes to be anonymous.
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