No kids, no dogs.
Years ago, when I met my (now) husband (we were barely 20) and started dating him, we were exploring our compatibility, enjoying one another, and figuring out whether we would be able to make it last as a couple.
We dated almost five years before getting married. Inside those five years, we did the big things- we traveled together, discussed finances (we both had nothing, it was a short conversation), met one another’s family and friends, and talked about the future.
Before marriage my rule was “no dogs, no kids”
“No kids, no dogs,” I said.
I had never really loved little kids. I did a TON of babysitting as a teen, but always enjoyed the older kids far more than the younger ones. I am pretty sure I changed only a diaper or two, and didn’t like that either. I didn’t see myself cooing over little hands and feet, wiping drool, or toting around a stroller/car seat.
I never had a pet growing up (does the carnival goldfish count?), so I didn’t want to deal with it. Cats were never really appealing, and I have to admit, I had a small fear of dogs. My lack of exposure made me reluctant to jump into cuddling and loving animals.
My husband wanted children
My husband acknowledged this and flat out ignored it. WHAT? Is this not the red flag of all red flags? If one of my adult kids heard this from their potential partner, and disagreed, I would tell them “it’s a deal breaker.”
He wanted kids-at least two, and had always had at least one dog as a pet. He wanted it all.
I wasn’t entirely focused on my career, but I was working hard and enjoyed it. I also enjoyed the freedoms of being with friends and had such little experience with kids and pets that I didn’t know what I was missing. At least that was his theory.
Gratefully, he was right. Although I wouldn’t recommend others taking this leap of faith, I am soooo glad he saw through my fears.
My husband surprised me with a puppy and I’m so glad
We got married. He brought home a puppy one day while I was at work, and I arrived home to this tiny, white fur ball that became my second love. That puppy was exactly what we needed, even as naughty as he was.
We got another puppy to keep that one company, and she became another true love, all sweetness and snuggles, but always wanting to walk first, slightly ahead of us and her brother. They allowed us to meet other people out walking their dogs (dog people! yay), and make friends. We learned responsibility and took care of them. It was amazing.
We had two awesome kids
We had two awesome kids. The kids loved the dogs and vice versa, and my heart grew again. I never knew that I could love these tiny things the way I did, and still do. Maybe, I thought, it’s just other people’s kids that aren’t as appealing. When they are yours, it’s different. My heart swelled.
Our first dog died and we got another
And as those dogs aged, then left us for the rainbow bridge, we decided to get another. The kids were still young enough, and we lasted just three months without a pet before welcoming another. He was the best dog, sweet, fun, easy-going, and the perfect addition to the family. The kids loved him, as did we. My husband often says he was the “favorite child.”
Life went on.
One left for college out of state. We missed her terribly. The next one started driving…was home less and less, finally leaving the nest as well. But we still had our dog, Hogan, best dog ever.
Then, it happened. He aged, had some health issues, and left us about a year ago. By that time, we were officially empty nesting and he was our whole world, daily. We focused on walking him, making sure he was eating, checking on him, worrying in ways we don’t remember with the others. But with the kids out, we had all the time in the world. And he passed on.
Now we are back to no kids, no dogs
And in a strange turn of event, we are back to no kids, no dogs. It’s different, but empty, still.
So I am left thinking about how much I would have missed had I really stuck to my original plan. My heart would be smaller. I wouldn’t have met all these amazing people that my kids brought into our lives.
We wouldn’t have traveled to fields far and wide, paid for parking at stadiums and courts, washed uniforms in hotel sinks, had road trips with great stories, enjoyed our pets and fellow dog lovers we met as a result of walking them, and so much more.
No kids, no dogs=no fun! At least for me. I am so grateful my husband knew that I would change my mind. So now, as we contemplate welcoming a new dog, we wonder why not? No one here loves the house being empty.
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