There have been times in my life when I’ve felt as if the world revolves around me. My wedding was one, becoming a mom was another, and my divorce sent me spiraling into self-pity mode and it was a lot of work to pull myself out of it.
When I get into this self-centered state of mind, I try not to be too extra. I’m aware my friends don’t think about me as much as I think about me and they are just trying to keep their own lives from falling apart. But I never underestimate the healing power of wonderful friends who allow me to be self-centered from time to time. They are the same friends who don’t let me wallow in self-centeredness for too long, but they realize how important it is to be heard once in a while. And, they hear me.
So, when I call a friend and I sense them sitting on the other end of the phone allowing me to partake in a verbal vomiting session before they’ve even said hello, it doesn’t go unnoticed. The friends who will press pause on their own lives, while they hide out in the closet with one ear plugged to block out the chaos happening around them, are irreplaceable.
I have a few friends who welcome my venting with open ears and know after a good sesh, I feel like new.
My closest friends do these things for me.
They’ve walked into a meeting late for me.
They’ve put dinner on the table cold for me.
They’ve sat in a parked car with the heat running for me knowing as soon as they walk into their house they’ll be pulled in ten different directions and they want to be present.
They do it for me without complaint, or needing a special favor in return. They do it because that’s what besties do for each other.
The friends you can trust to hear you out when you need to vent are the best kind of friends. They don’t feel compelled to direct you, or to talk you down or interrupt your thoughts. They just let you vent and they are the glue that holds women together.
They’re the reason we can buckle down and get back to work after a quick texting session where we are free to complain about our boss.
They’re the reason we don’t walk around with tense shoulders and a scowl.
They’re the reason we’re able to clear our head and enjoy sexy time with our partner instead of trying to sort things out in the back of our mind during foreplay.
They’re the reason we notice what’s happening right in front of us because they’ve allowed us to unleash our feelings about an argument we had with our teenagers and leave it in the rearview mirror.
They’re the reason we aren’t rage- cleaning or stress-eating all the damn time.
There are not enough thanks to be doled out to the friends who understand that all it takes is a quick bitch session in order for you to get yourself right again. They are more than happy to provide their services for that because they care about you and what’s going on inside your head.
They are happy to be a sounding board, they know you’ll return the favor, and they know the importance of keeping things tight between the two of you because you’ve shared so much there’s no way they’d risk losing that connection.
Besides, listening to you go on a tangent about your mother-in-law is a small price to pay to show you they are a safe space.
An unwritten rule is that there’s nothing that strengthens the bond between two women like an uncensored blabber session.
So, to the friends who let me pick up the phone and vent or will meet me for coffee to talk about all the things that are happening around me which make me feel as if I have zero control over my life, thank you. You are all the only reason I can keep moving through my days without taking some innocent (or not so innocent) person down when life gets to be too much.
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