Moms and dad with college kids and recent college graduates whose kids are living in their college towns or are living in their home away from home or with friends, I’m sending you hugs. Your babies are not with you so you can’t see them and you can’t be sure that they are sheltering in place.
Hugs to you because I know you wish they were under your roof. Hugs to you because I know how hard this is and I know how anxious it makes you.
I talked to my daughter tonight – my birthday is next week – she wanted to know what I would be doing for my birthday – my reply – celebrating with a margarita – she wanted to know if it would be okay to come home and bring her boyfriend to meet us and stay until Easter.
My daughter does not understand she has to pick one house to shelter in place
When she asked my heart broke into a million pieces for a couple of reasons – first-DOES she not understand that it’s NOT okay because sheltering in place means staying put and not coming home? Her germs are now hers and ours (her dad’s, mine and her brother’s) are now ours. Does she NOT understand that we must shelter in place until all this passes. We must stay in the family units we created for ourselves before this started. You are either “in our out” until we can all safely be together.
Then she said something about them going home to her boyfriend’s family for his birthday – I am going to have a heart-to-heart conversation with her tomorrow – and tell her that I think it would be very sad for her if her boyfriend got sick from someone in our family and died or vice versa.
I’m going to be blunt with my daughter
YES I am going to be that blunt, because the time for politeness and avoiding the truth has passed.
I am going to ask her how she would feel if she was a carrier and she got one of his family members sick. I am going to tell her that the best and most amazing birthday and Easter gift she can give me is to stay where she is – as much as it will hurt not to see them, and it does hurt. Badly.
I am so excited that she wants to bring him home to meet us and spend time with us for Easter but this isn’t the time for that – I know she probably knows that too – so far none of us have shown symptoms and I have been home with small exceptions.
I hope my daughter hears what I say
And after I speak to my daughter I am going to pray like crazy that my message is properly received.
I hope that you are not struggling with these conversations and that your kiddos are not considering joining you for family celebrations and that YOU are not having them come home for family celebrations however hard that might be. In the short term it’s going to be a total pain in the ASS but in the long run it will be worth it.
We are going to be in our homes right now until at least the end of April, sheltered in place with JUST the people who live within the walls of our homes. I know you all love the people you’re with and that there are other people you love, but I implore you-if you want to spend time with people besides the ones in your house do it via Zoom or FaceTime.
My heart breaks because we are here – my heart breaks because I’m afraid that the kids don’t understand the ramifications of their actions. I hope they understand that they need to stay in ONE home without going back and forth between houses. My heart breaks because I just want this to be over so I can meet my daughter’s sweet new boyfriend and not worry at every turn that something will happen to my family.
I am anxious – I stay up way too late and am not sleeping well – I know others are in the same place. I know we will get there-this is not meant to be an “oh my gosh my daughter is going to miss my birthday” this is really an expression of fear for all the kids out there who might not be getting it.
And if you’ve had to have these tough conversations with your sweet kids, I’m sending you extra hugs and love. I’m so ready to be on the other side of this. We all are. But, in the meantime, please for the love of everyone you know STAY HOME-STAY HOME-STAY HOME.
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The author of this post wishes to remain anonymous.