My parents used to have a beautiful poster hanging in their room that said something about
childhood coming in like a lion and out like a lamb. It’s kind of like the month of March in the Midwest, which shares the same motto. Piles of snow when you least expect it, frigid moments when you thought you were through the thick of it. And then all of the sudden, you look outside and see flowers blooming out of seemingly nowhere.
Growing up, I just thought it was a pretty piece of art, but now, I truly get it. That message sunk in recently, when the childhood years of one of my kids came to a close. I honestly thought that the turning of age would come in like a lion-or maybe more like a Miley Cyrus wrecking ball. But it didn’t. It wasn’t abrupt. It wasn’t roaring. It wasn’t ferocious in the way I thought it would feel.
The turning of one season of life to another came quietly
This turning over of one season of life to the next was a moment for me to pause and reflect. The years of childhood have been filled with lion moments. Sleep training. Potty training. First days and last days of school. Friendship ups and downs. Learning to drive. Pandemic years. Losing pets, and family. Hormones. Hard things that feel insurmountable. You get the gist.
For so long it has felt like every step was tiptoeing into a den of unknown territory- wrought with so much questioning of myself. So much worrying. So many moments of feeling unsure and insecure in the journey of parenting.
These years have brought with them a constant shifting of identity. An ebb and flow of mistakes and learning- all in the effort of becoming the parent I have always wanted to be, and so often feeling the crushing weight of the learning curve that comes with having no clue how to do it.
Adulthood showed up unprompted
And while all of this has been going on, childhood has gently and discreetly come to a close. Out like a lamb. Where I thought the reminders of this coming of age would be screaming, they are whispering with an unexpected calm and levity.
Adulthood showed up like the first buds of spring-sprouting quietly, unprompted, unassumingly. Bringing with it the insight that while the hard work of parenting is never really over, the culmination of the lion years has gently given way to a new stage of time.
What I’ve realized is this process has been happening for some time, unknowingly, right before my eyes. The gradual release of time, softly unlacing and unbinding the tight strings of childhood, giving way to something new- one moment, one day, one year at a time.
The signs of maturity are coming as quiet whispers
And now, here we are. Quiet whispers in my inbox releasing me from access to medical records. Guardian status in bank accounts released into his own name. Passports that will last 10 years instead of 5. Coming home with a haircut that he realized he needed all on his own, and that I didn’t schedule for him. Legally able to drive until all hours of the night. Just a few steps away from truly beginning his own journey from young adult to complete independence.
This coming of age certainly comes with all of the feels-a knowledge that my role in an adult life will truly never be the same as it was in the life of this same person as a child. The
understanding that independence comes with the stakes of letting go.
Not all change comes in like a wrecking ball
The pang in my heart that this could feasibly be the last few months of all of us living under one roof as a family unit. Yet, it feels so much more natural than I anticipated.
This gentle tiptoe into adulthood is a whisper in the breeze, telling me that not all of the biggest shifts in life have to come in like a lion or a wrecking ball. And when all is said and done, I’m grateful for the lions and the lambs, and all of the ways that they bring balance to life
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