Grown and Flown

...because parenting never ends.

Dorm Shopping List: THIS is Why it’s Such a Big Deal

There are few things that feel as satisfying to me as a good organizational project. For a few weeks now our finished basement has been command central for operation “get the girl ready for college.” The floor next to the now empty storage unit that once held Barbies, Polly Pockets, and later, sheet music and notebooks and binders from each passing school year is lined with a succession of plastic tubs, each bearing the essentials of college life. One tub holds laundry detergent and ... View the Post

How to Say Goodbye? Mom of Only Child Asks for Help

My daughter, an only child, is two years away from heading off to college, and already I find myself dreading the day she spreads her bold, witty, kick-ass-and-take-no-prisoners wings and leaves. Realistically, I know it’s folly to spend the next two years fixated on what’s to come, instead of relishing every precious moment I have today. A few months ago my dread grew to the point where I recognized I needed to do something about it. My daughter is my only child, and we’re very close ... View the Post

My Move-in Day: A Gap Year, New Tattoos, and One Purple Sock

It was late east coast time as we slid into the booth at the hotel diner. The cold A.C. tossed Jack’s brown waves. Just yesterday those waves were baby curls I could pull and they would spring back in a coil. Jack pointed out goose bumps in the tattoos on his forearm. They didn’t get sunburned at the beach, he said. I used that tattoo sunblock”. My son loves his new tattoos. I’ve caught him admiring them in the mirror as he brushes his teeth - the “flap jacks” and the “Jack hammer” that he ... View the Post

My Daughter has Anxiety. She Made it Through College Orientation

“Will you come to the bathroom with me?” I turned to look at my 18-year-old daughter. She was green. I knew what was coming. We raced to the bathroom and got there just in time. At least that was where she threw up and not in the seminar we had been attending. 24 hours earlier, on the 4th of July, we were sitting in the Urgent Care office of her pediatrician. She had woken up with a cough, a cold, and just felt “icky.” I prayed for the strep test to come back positive. My wish was for ... View the Post

Dear Son, My Little Bit of Advice as You Head to College

Son, There is a tradition of parents writing an obligatory college drop off letter to your freshman college student. I have read a few examples, and some of them are beautiful, poignant. They are to offer advice and throw out some words of encouragement. So here is my attempt! The next month or so is going to feel like a whirlwind. You may feel very uneasy at times. There will be a lot coming at you very quickly. As dad puts it, “like drinking water from a firehose.”  You may feel like ... View the Post

Here are the Top 7 College Visit Mistakes

Conventional wisdom holds that a college visit should include a quick information session and tour, with families as passive recipients of whatever the school offers. Since visitations can be stressful, the internet is full of suggestions for navigating these visits. It is essential that parents carefully assess some of this advice, which may be misleading or not particularly relevant to their child’s unique needs. Here is my list of the top college visit mistakes: #1: Skip the information ... View the Post