For the past 20 plus years, my life has been full of fun. Admittedly, much of this fun was the result of having kids. We met other families and made friends with people because our kids were friendly with their kids.
“Can we have dinner with Bobby’s parents?” Can Skyler sleep over?” “Is it ok if Charlie comes with us to the park?”
These kinds of asks were just the beginning of a beautiful season-one where friends became chosen family-truly! We welcomed other kids into our home regularly. We had great nights out with kids and parents together, and we created lasting friendships.
Or so I thought. But, where are all my friends now?
We used to meet other families at the beach, park, dinner or at concerts
My kids are grown and out of the house-the empty nest season is suddenly upon us and I wonder-where are all those parents who were so happy to join us for dinner at the Mexican restaurant. They were delighted to meet us at the community pool for a BBQ or hang out with us at the beach/park/concert.
I was happy to be the planner. For years, I was the one to get things organized. I planned beach days for large groups, including parents and siblings. I planned pool days and BBQs. I planned get-togethers at the park, bowling outings and trips to amusement parks.
And, I loved it. Not everything was a big deal- sometimes it was just an afternoon at the local park with friends. Sometimes it was a fancy graduation party.
Maybe I was the glue that held our group of friends together
But I guess maybe I was the glue? Maybe I’m the one who kept it all together.
What happened to everyone?
The kids went their separate ways to college, but we parents still live close by. Was it a pretend friendship? Do we not have enough to keep it going without our kids around? Was it just a friendship for that season in life and now that the season has passed so has the friendship? I really don’t know.
I feel wistful. But, I also feel tired. The party planner in me sometimes thinks that I could do it again. I could create an event and I’m sure people would come. But then I think that maybe someone else could try for a change? Maybe, if it was important enough to them, someone else would pick up the reins and try organizing something.
It doesn’t feel good to always have to be the planner
If everyone is still waiting for me to plan stuff, they may be disappointed. Because, to be honest, it doesn’t feel good to never be invited; to always be the one doing the inviting. It would be nice if someone else organized something fun. It would be nice, for a change, to be the one asking “What should we bring?”
I guess for now, I’ll still wait and see what happens to those friends.
More Great Reading:
