Ten Things You Need To Tell Your Adult Children

My sons are adults. They are lovely, intelligent, successful adults, and I adore them. They have their own lives and, thankfully, still include us in their lives. I do sometimes wonder, however, how much we should still be trying to influence their lives. Do they want our advice? Do my “suggestions” sound like a nagging mom? Should we share our experiences or let them make their own mistakes? Hopefully, we are doing a little of each — it’s tough to avoid either.

So I decided I would write a few things I want to tell my adult children — great advice they need to hear. So listen up, guys. . . . . .

A mom's letter to her adult children

Advice to My Adult Children

1. Be kind.

It doesn’t take money. It doesn’t take time. There’s usually a choice — be kind, ignore the person/situation or be mean. Don’t ever be mean; karma will come back to bite you tenfold. Sometimes you can ignore them without being mean. Mostly, be kind. It’s the right thing to do.

2. Overdress.

If you think you need to dress up, then dress up. It’s always better to overdress for a situation than show up looking like a bum. (Don’t be smart, I’m not talking about a tux.)

3. Don’t settle.

I don’t see millennials settling for things that don’t make them happy, and I’m all for that — most of the time. If you hate your job, get another one. If you don’t like where you live, move. You’re not a tree.

4. Save some money.

Pay yourself first and put it away. Don’t get through the month and then put away whatever you might have left. You may not have anything left. Put it away first. Added simple pleasure: it adds up quickly.

5. Never fill out your recipient’s email address on your email until you’re ready to send it.

Do you know how many emails get sent accidentally? Well, me neither, but it’s a lot. Don’t be one of them. It could have disastrous results.

6. Make your bed.

Nah, I’m kidding. I seriously don’t care if you make your bed or not. I think it’s good that your bedroom looks neat and you start your day accomplishing something, but who cares? Just make sure to wash those sheets once in a while. That’s much more important. Especially your pillowcases. Think about it. Ewww.

7. My simple rule of “the more you. . .”.

You know, the more vegetables you eat, the more vegetables you will eat. It’s all about good habits. The more you practice your good habits, the more they become your good habits. (Unfortunately, this can apply to bad habits too, so watch yourself. . . repeating a bad habit can make it seem okay).

8. Mindfulness.

This is pretty much the key to everything. Be mindful of your decisions and actions. Don’t get crazy with impulsive or spur-of-the-moment decisions. A little spontaneity is good. It’s fun. Rushing into important decisions, not so much.

9. Love your siblings.

Even when you don’t always like them, when it comes to the end of the day, they are the ones who are there for you. You are lucky enough to have some true friends, but it still doesn’t compare to the unconditional love of family. Do this until the day you leave this earth, or I will make sure to haunt you forever. ‘Nuff said.

10. Know that your parents love you with their entire hearts and souls.

You probably won’t understand this until you have your children. Even then, it may seem incredible. After all, we didn’t let you do many things you wanted to do, and we weren’t always friendly or fun. Sometimes we still aren’t that nice or fun. Who knew that would be one of the challenging parts of loving you?

I know — I said ten things. But I’m your mother, and I have something else to add — and you’re lucky it’s not more than 11. This is a great one: pay off your credit card every week. Pick a time — maybe it’s Friday at lunchtime. . . . pay off the balance. The smaller balance isn’t as intimidating and may help you budget. So what if the credit card company gets your money early? You will never have a late payment fee and aren’t earning anything on it anyway. Do this, and you will never have a credit card problem.

Eventually, hopefully long and far away, we will get old (no, we are not old now!) and need your advice and reminders. You may wonder how much you should try to influence our lives. Sound familiar? You may think this is one of the toughest parts of loving us.

I already know that the most challenging part of loving you will be one day leaving you. Until then, I plan on giving you advice and subtle reminders. (Maybe a few not-so-subtle reminders, too). Your turn will come. And when it does, refer to #1.

Love You With All My Heart and Soul,


You Might Also Want to Read: 

Four Things Grown Sons Want Their Moms to Know

To the Moms of Grown Sons: What We Want Them to Know 

I have 3 adult children and I wonder how much I should still be trying to influence their lives. Do my “suggestions” sound like a nagging mom? Here are 10 things you should tell your adult children. #emptynest #grownandflown #raisingkids #motherhood #parenting #adultkids


About Cindy Farr

Cindy Farr grew up on a farm in South Dakota and has lived in Florida since she married her husband Lat in 1984. They have always lived where shopping centers, malls and entertainment were within a short drive. Now they’ve sold their business, their three sons are grown and their beloved dog has died. It may be a little scary but they are looking forward to doing the things they have always thought they would love to do. And they are going to see if they can do them on an island. Cindy shares her island life on www.TropicalLifeFoodandFun.com

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