For weeks now, my kids have been asking me what I want for Christmas. And I have said the thing that I am supposed to say, that I always say — I don’t need anything. I just want all of my children to be healthy and happy. It’s true. I don’t need anything. And I do want my children to be happy and healthy.
But they are good children, so no matter how often I say that I really don’t need anything, they will pool their money and buy me a new nightgown or bathrobe or a maybe well-intentioned kitchen gadget. And I’ll be grateful because I know they are buying me presents because they love me and want to show me that they care.
But here’s the thing. I’m lying. I don’t just want healthy, happy kids. Sure, that’s the most important thing, but there are a few other things that I desperately want. So maybe this year I will give my family my real Christmas list…
21 Things I REALLY Want for Christmas
1. I want a vehicle free of dead french fries and straw wrappers.
2. I want everyone to lick or wipe the peanut butter off the spoon before dropping it in the sink. Better yet, lick it off and drop it in the dishwasher.
3. I want never to open the cabinet and find a box with approximately two tablespoons of cereal left in it.
4. I want never to hear the word SHOTGUN! again.
5. I want all the socks in the whole world (or at least in my house) to find and keep their forever mates.
6. I want kitchen countertops free from crumbs.
7. I want to always be able to find a pen. And my scissors. And the duct tape. Seriously. Who keeps running off with the duct tape?
8. I want to stop pretending that the little flecks of green in the pasta are seasonings. It’s spinach, y’all. OK? It has always been spinach.
9. I want to sit down with my coffee or my computer or my book for more than five minutes at a time before someone says, “Hey Mama! Will you…”
Now, a perfect Christmas gift for parents of teens, The Grown and Flown book!
10. I want someone else to feed the dog. C’mon, that was the deal.
11. I want to stop repeating myself.
12. I want to stop repeating myself.
13. I want a TV show that comes on during primetime that I can watch with my whole family and that does not involve wildlife or wild lives or people wearing camo or having sex — and that will not be interrupted by commercials for tampons, erectile dysfunction or Victoria’s Secret.
14. I want to learn how to use the television remote control, and I want the kids to forget how to use the television remote control.
15. I want, just now and then, to arrive at church with a relaxed, well-dressed family at least 15 minutes early.
16. I want to pray more as a family.
17. I want to play more as a family.
18. I want to sit down to dinner more often.
19. I want to cook from scratch, and I want someone else to clean the kitchen.
20. I want more nights at home with my family and fewer nights all going in different directions.
21. I want to slow down time.
Obviously, some of the things on my list are within my family’s power to give me and some are not. But in the end, I know I will get a bathrobe or a nightgown or a kitchen gadget. And that’s OK. Because even though whatever I get might not come with a lifetime supply of spotless kitchens or perfectly matched socks, it will come with love. And besides, I really could use a new bathrobe.
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