Dear Mom of High School Sophomore,
If Freshman year was for finding their feet, Sophomore year is for finding themselves.
There is something so nice about going back to high school Sophomore year. Our students are no longer the new kids on the block trying to figure out both the academic and social landscape.
Advice for High School Sophomore Year:
No college talk
Top of the list is still DO NOT TALK ABOUT COLLEGE. The one exception would be if your child is in an athletic recruiting process. But otherwise the mantra is grades, activities, friends and enjoy high school. High school is a seminal moment in life, it is a crime to turn it into one long application process. The minute we start talking about college the focus shifts away from high school and onto one of the most stressful parts of our child’s youth. Don’t rush it!
Real first year
In many ways, Sophomore year feels like the first real year. The experimentation with clubs and activities may have given way to genuine interests. Our kids might have new friends. For the first time in their lives we may not know some of these friends. Small changes like this give us the feeling that our life with our kid is truly changing.
New world of worry
Welcome to a whole new world of worry. The light sockets, stair gates and bicycle helmets were all just preparation for driving, the biggest safety challenge that teens and parents face.
If your teen’s birthday allows for it, start driver’s training in Sophomore year. Many things get rushed junior year and proper driving instruction, with adequate time, is all important. It is worth taking the time to do some careful research into driving instruction and providing additional lessons if necessary. Driving will be one of the biggest emotional hurdles of 10th grade. Driving is a confluence of very real worry and huge leap in our kid’s independence. It is, I believe the first step on the road to the empty nest and it may very well feel that way.
Watch your child closely, see how their time management is progressing. Junior year is, for many, the most difficult year in high school. This is a good moment to help teach any of those planning skills that a younger, more immature student was unable to master. On top of the academic load many juniors take on more demanding activities, a varsity sport, a leading role or a leadership position. Good time management can be the difference between a happy teen and one struggling with stress next year.
Sleep is key
Like every year, focus on teaching them about sleep. For many boys, 15 is a big year for physical growth making sleep even more important. It becomes harder to impose a bedtime on a high school kid, but do it anyway. Sleep is what fuels a young body, aiding them emotionally, intellectually and physically so make sure they know its value long before setting off to college. Tell them how crucial sleep is to every aspect of their lives. When they ignore you, show them the scientific evidence. If they ignore that, turn off the wi-fi at 10:00pm.
Coming of age
For girls, the question of a Sweet 16 party may begin with the first day of school. MTV’s show, My Super Sweet 16 debuted in 2005 and has, along with its various spinoffs, taken viewers “on a wild ride behind the scenes for all the drama, surprises and over-the-top fun as teens prepare for their most important coming-of-age celebrations.” It has been part of the media landscape since current high school Sophomores were six. Whether your family traditions call for a Quinceanera at 15, a big party at 16, or a quiet dinner with grandparents and cake, 16 is a significant milestone for girls and one that shouldn’t pass without special acknowledgement.
The question of taking the PSAT or PLAN may come up this year. Every school is different. Unless your child has some extreme test anxiety (and frankly these kids might benefit from the opportunity to try the test with no consequences), consider scheduling them for one of these tests. Although the tests do not count for anything regarding college admission during sophomore year, they serve as a barometer and offer practice. (Please note, when taken during junior year, the PSAT is a gateway to potential scholarships.) Standardized tests that last for many hours and are administered in a highly structured weekend setting might be new to your son or daughter so here is a chance at a trial run.
Though it must seem like a long way off, plan the summer with SAT study in mind. It is a free and clear block of time and most kids take the test for the first time in 11th grade. If your child is going to do some sort of structured test prep, a class or a tutor, this is the time for you to schedule it.
Toward the end of the year, or just before course selection is due for Junior year, have a long serious talk with your Sophomore. How did they manage their course load? Could they handle a greater challenge, or should they dial back a bit for next year? What courses interested them the most and how can they best pursue this interest? Are there courses they have never tried like economics or psychology that they would like to take? Are they going to add AP and advanced work and how much? High school counselors are often overworked and might not have the time for a reflective talk and this is a great opportunity for your teen to tell you things you may not already know about their growing and changing interests.