I Love That My Teenage Son Has Feelings About The Show, The Bachelor

Monday night is here and that can only mean one thing, “Bachelor Nation” is in full swing. In other words, it’s Mama-time with snacks, the remote, and a chance to indulge in some (kind of bad) reality television. If you ask me, it’s not wrong to have this trash to brighten my Monday evenings and I’ll never apologize for it even if it leaves me hating myself a bit the next morning.

I’ve watched the show for almost two decades, so why stop now?

The love affair first started with a bunch of girlfriends getting together to tune in, which carried over to talking about it over the water cooler the following the Tuesday at work.

When I got engaged at 27 and after my fiance moved in, he’d watch it with me. There were complaints, sarcastic jokes, and eye rolls of course, but it was funny how he always sat for 2 hours straight and watched every week.

My teenage son dislikes The Bachelor
My son hates The Bachelor but I love it. (Kathy Hutchins/Shutterstock/screen shot ABC.com footage)

Something else that was funny? He knew every contestant’s name better than I did and always had a favorite he’d be rooting for.

After I had kids, snuggling under a blanket in peace with my knitting needles and watching with bated breath to see who got a rose, what drama would be stirred up, and repeatedly thinking oh my God, why is that person who causes so much hate and discontent still here? It was an escape from my married life with kids and it was just enough.

Now, my teenagers tune in with me and something I never expected has happened: My oldest son despises the show, so much so that he refuses to watch but not for the reasons you might think. He’s  said several times that he thinks it’s disgusting that one man or one woman can go out on that many dates and kiss that many people in that short amount of time.

The first time he watched he said, “Mom! He just kissed that other girl, now he’s kissing someone else? Isn’t it the same night!”

When adults have tried to joke with him and say things like, “Well, sometimes you have to try different people out to find your person,” he stands his ground, he doesn’t agree, or even crack a smile.

“Not at the same time! Not on the same night!”

The idea of juggling multiple partners (even if you are just talking and kissing) makes his head spin. He not only feels it’s morally wrong, he literally doesn’t know how or why anyone would want to manage that.

My son has declared The Bachelor, and The Bachelorette the worst shows on earth. He believes it’s so much better to spend your time with one person and explore that relationship rather than trying to juggle a few different potential partners.

We’ve discussed that’s it’s not appropriate to brag about being with someone intimately around a bunch of people; that you talk about it in private with someone you trust in a respectful way.

I’ve had the sex talk with him many times over making sure I always stress that sex is between two consenting people and if you are in an exclusive relationship (or not), it’s important to discuss  sex before you have the actual sex.

In this day and age, where online dating is a thing, there are many options out there for meeting people, and he’s going to an adult and on his own in a few short years, I have to say his feelings around this subject make feel proud. They seem solid, he is serious, and maybe I’m being oblivious, and one day his thoughts will change but I know my son, and I don’t see him wavering on this.

He may not keep a clean room; he may drink out of the faucet; he may not always be polite or put forth his best effort, but his thoughts around relationships are right on.

And I love that about him.


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About Katie BinghamSmith

Katie Bingham-Smith lives in Maine with her three kids. She is a Staff Writer at Scary Mommy, shoe addict and pays her kids to rub her feet. You can see more of her on Facebook and Instagram .

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