What It Feels Like to Be a Quaranteenager With a Boyfriend You Can’t See

Growing up, Disney Channel was my life. I loved watching the romantic comedies where the girl always got the guy, or how he became everything to her. I always promised myself that I would never let everything become about a boy. Now, look where we are.

Hi, I’m Zoey. A fourteen year old, self-obsessed, “moody when-I-wanna-be” teenager. I also have a boyfriend. He only lives a mile away, but I haven’t seen him in months, and will not be able to for many more. Clearly, my timing for a boyfriend was not ideal.

My boyfriend is my best friend. (Twenty20 @dashutka2212)

My boyfriend is my best friend

He is not only my first boyfriend, but he is also my best friend right now. I know boys come and go, but he is really important to me, and this quarantine would be much harder if I did not have him to lean on. I need him.

I am known as the dramatic one in my family. I’m the one who picks fights, who is moody most of the time, and makes a big deal out of nothing. I take ownership of that.

But, when I genuinely ask my family if I can see my boyfriend, it feels like they laugh at me more often than not. Even though I know they are not literally laughing and I know that I am being dramatic and petty with a global pandemic going on, but hey, I’m a teenager. More than that, I’m human. Everybody is selfish sometimes. I get that staying inside will benefit the greater good, but it just feels unfair.

My parents get to see each other every night, and I’m supposed to be happy with a phone call? I would never want to endanger my family or my neighbors and community, but I also have a life. Or, I used to. Currently, I have no summer plans, no 8th-grade graduation or moving-up ceremony into high school, no getting together with friends, no going to school.

Your teenage years are supposed to be the best years of your life, or so I am told. Now, the “best years of my life” are spent inside my house. All day, every day. And even though I know that asking to see my boyfriend every night isn’t going to help, and, even though I already know the answer, some part of me hopes that maybe my parents will crack.

I wish my parents would let me see my boyfriend

I know they are looking out for me and our family, but sometimes I wish they didn’t care. Maybe if they didn’t care, I would be allowed to see him.

I tend to complain about this situation on pretty much a daily basis, and most of the time, I get the same answer: “I understand.” The thing is, there is no way they could possibly understand. There was not a global pandemic keeping them from seeing their boyfriends and girlfriends when they were teenagers.

My mom is always coming up with ways for me to see him without actually “seeing him.” “You could watch TV together on FaceTime, have a picnic with separate food and blankets, or go for a walk.” It’s just not the same. Knowing that I won’t be able to hug him or hold his hand when I see him. Knowing that I can’t even stand next to him or see him smile because a mask is covering half of his face.

Yes, there are a million options, but none of them really amount to what it used to be like. Sure, my parents are listening, but it doesn’t feel like they actually get it; that they get how much I want to see him, how all I do every day is think about him, how when I see him biking by my window all I want to do is hug him.

I can’t really think of a better way to describe how I feel than alone. Even though I talk to him every day, the reality that I can’t see him makes me feel helpless. Everything is out of control, and there is really nothing I can do but wait it out.

But waiting is hard. Waiting to see the boy who makes me feel loved and happy when he only lives a mile away. I would have cherished the moments we had together so much more if I knew they would only last for so long.

Life moves fast. One minute you’re a seven-year-old girl watching romances on TV, the next you’re living in one. I know my seven-year-old self probably isn’t pleased with me, but my fourteen-year-old self is very glad I broke that promise.

More to Read:

Why Social Distancing is Agonizing for Adolescents

Zoey Possick is 14-years old and lives Rye Brook, New York. She has a twin sister, Sophie, and two stepbrothers. She enjoys playing tennis in her spare time, and loves to read.

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