My ex-husband dropped off my kids the other day said, “I have a funny story for you.” He proceeded to tell me how he and our youngest son, Jack were watching a show and someone dropped an F-bomb. And because my ex doesn’t swear, and wanted to use it as a teaching moment because he’s aware of my dirty habit, he felt they should have a talk about it.
“Jack, do you and your friends use that word? And hopefully you know it’s not something that’s okay to say. Just because you heard it on TV doesn’t mean you can say it.”
Jack responded by telling his father he’s only heard it from Mom who uses it every day, so he wasn’t really interested in talking like that himself.
It needs to be said I don’t use the word every day. Maybe every other day which is totally not the same thing.
Yeah, I swear in front of my kids.
I believe it makes me a better person and helps me get my point across. All kids want happy parents, and letting lose with my favorite bad words certainly makes me a better mom, that’s for damn sure. Like the other day when I dropped a can of beans on my foot and the word “crap” would not cut it, but yelling, “Sh*tballs, oh my f*cking dammit that hurt!” made me feel so much better even though the phrase I was spewing made no sense.
It felt wonderful and somehow made my foot feel better and I could move on.
Swearing in front of your kids doesn’t make you a bad parent. Calling your child swear words while you are really pissed at them may be frowned upon, but that’s not what we are talking about here. There’s no excuse for hate-filled slurs, yes, and as a parent you can teach your child the difference and still take part in the therapeutic properties of swearing.
We are talking about the sweet relief that comes from letting profanity flow freely from our lips when we are mad, hurt, super excited or walk into our teenager’s room for the first time in months and discover where that damn smell is coming from and want them to know they better rally and get their “a*s up in here and return all the spoons and glasses to their proper places.”
I’m not talking about making our kids think it’s acceptable to use words like, “fat,” “ugly,” or “stupid,” either. I’m talking about not holding back because you are really freaking excited when all your kids have event on the same night and you look at the calendar and let out a big “F*ck yeah!” because you finally get to catch up on Grace and Frankie while having your way with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream without interruption or having to share.
Swearing enhances sentences, has been known to relieve stress, and really, I just like the way it sounds when I say, “For F*ck’s sake” so much better than “Oh Dear.” It suits my personality, helps me reveal my true feelings, and my mom friends agree swearing adds something extra during conversations and texting, which is super fun and exciting. Moms deserve fun and exciting and if we can get it from 4-letter words, is that really so bad?
I know some think it’s tasteless and profanity should have no place around your kids, but I am the boss around here. I can use bad words if I want whether my kids are sitting on the sofa with earbuds shoved in their ears and can’t hear me when I ask them to do something, or we are driving down the road to school and one of them lets me know they forgot their backpack when we are almost at our destination.
The way I see it, they are going to hear naughty words regardless. I’m glad they have learned them from their mother and I have taught them the correct way to say them instead of hearing them from some kid on the playground who may not know how to drop a proper “Sh*t” or “F*uck.” I also know the importance of following my swearing habit with a bit of a lesson. It’s important to let our kids know there’s a time and place to swear, and home is the by far the best place to let it all out rather than say, in line at Target.
Unless of course you are packing your bags in your cart and realize you forgot your favorite chocolate treats and you have a raging case of PMS, then it’s totally okay.
Besides, after becoming a mom we all gave up day-drinking, table-dancing, and 2 am runs to the diner to eat steak and eggs. We sure as hell don’t need to give up swearing.