Now I am Hearing Voices

Lisa writes: Lisa writes: My kids shared a single bedroom.  It was a big bedroom and they are all boys, so for our family, it worked.  One of my greatest joys was listening to their chatter at night as they joked and laughed, ridiculed each other endlessly or, on a good day, helped each other with homework. Often there was the thudding sound of a ball banging against a hard surface and the inevitable crash of a desk lamp.

brothers, college son, college kids, empty nest

When the older two left for college, those joyous sounds were silenced.  One teenage boy alone in a room, with an iPod and headphones can be very quiet….and then one day I heard it and for a moment it was all there again.  I heard my youngest son laughing and chatting with his eldest brother—who I knew to be in his dorm room at school.

For a moment I couldn’t understand what was happening, the teasing, the laughter even the name calling were all within earshot. Then I remembered the laptops, cameras and video chat. My oldest son was showing his younger brother around his room by moving the computer through his dorm, bathroom and common room.  He was introducing his high school  brother to each of his new roommates and showing him the view from his bedroom window.

When my older kids left I was so focused on how I would miss them that truly I failed to appreciate how this would affect the youngest left behind.  I knew my husband and my relationships with our sons would transition once they went to college but, not for one moment did I think of how technology would help the siblings to transition theirs.

Comments

  1. Barbara says:

    Isn’t it wonderful? Keeping us and them connected….such a sweet post. I have 2 grown sons and could so relate to the rambunctious fun you described here.

    • I used to write letters to my siblings when we were in college, think this is so much better. They can really keep connected. Thanks for visiting.

  2. Oh, you made me sad and longing for the days of the thuds and laughter! I only had one boy but he made enough noise to fill the house!! I’ll have to wait til Thanksgiving to hear him around here again. Great post.

    • I know I was just looking at the pictures and wishing for just a flash of their child selves. Thank you so much for reading and leaving us your thoughts

  3. what a poignant post. not only are we forming a new relationship with the child who goes off to college but it seems to me that the relationship between brothers and sisters deepens and you see the beginnings of the friendship waiting in their futures.

    • When siblings become adults together they move into something new, I guess I knew this from my own life, but forgot it pertained to my kids.

  4. Such a sweet post. And how cool is that for both the big brother and the one remaining at home! My youngest daughter had a very difficult time when the other two went off to school. She was just a year behind my middle daughter and happily joined that one at the very same college (seven hours away!) the following year. It’s such a joy when all my girls are visiting and their happy chatter fills my home. Poignant post. Thank you for sharing!

    • I think siblings are so lucky when they go to college together. To have that life changing experience together and all the shared sweet memories that college brings seems to me a very special things. The seven hours, not great, but it seems like it did nothing to dent the bonds of your relationship with your lovely daughters.

  5. What a lovely post!
    I think siblings are so lucky now to be able to connect so easily and build the bonds of adulthood based on what they immediately first hand see and hear.

  6. With only having one daughter I can’t really relate to your post from a personal perspective but I LOVE to hear when siblings stay connected. I LOVE hearing about siblings who get on and love each other. I really dislike reading about family fights where siblings can’t get on with each other – maybe because it is too close to the truth about my brother and I !
    Have the best week !
    Me

  7. Oh, I miss those rooms full of laughter, too…..But like yours, my kids have stayed close to each other. Through technology and just plain love, they are still the best of friends!

  8. Thanks God for Technology! I tend to travel a lot and move to a different country at least once a year and I use tools as skype really, really often. Especially with being an aunt to small kids – I know it may sound ridiculous but I was scared they will forget my face…turned out to be just my psychic – it all ended up fine and I am grateful for video chats every day!

  9. It’s amazing how siblings connect when one leaves for college – my two talked all the time and it was a big help to my son to have his big sister to give him advice. The quiet is a bit unnerving, isn’t it!

  10. I miss the sounds of my boys being together, in my house, too, everything from the little boy shooting noises to the hushed, deep conversations to the laughter about things I would not find funny at all.

  11. Regina says:

    Really lovely and i have experienced the same thing—two boys together always in a small room—now in touch—sports, school, travel, girlfriends—the whole catastrophe!
    Regina

  12. That is one of the good things about technology. It keeps us closer together even when we’re hundreds of miles apart.

  13. I have a sneaking suspicion that my grandson is really glad to be rid of his older sister–at least for now. : – ) I, on the other hand, am so happy for Facebook so I can eavesdrop on her conversations and see how she’s doing, what new friends she’s making, etc. Good to see how your boys are putting technology to work.

  14. I skype with my daughter on Facebook a lot! I find I stay more in touch with her when she’s away then when she’s right upstairs!

  15. That is so nice that your children have such a wonderful relationship. My son was acted like he didn’t care that his sister was leaving, but deep down I know he misses her. Technology can be a beautiful thing!

  16. Terri Kaminetsky says:

    So sweet, Lisa. I feel myself welling up! Can’t wait for Thanksgiving!

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  1. [...] the attention he deserved and was rarely the first to do anything in our families.  This is the child who was left behind as siblings endured the college process, found their places and moved on to life’s next stage. If [...]