Mary Dell writes: Long ago, our house became one of the favorite destinations for the kids’ playdates and we have a big, brown, furry family dog to thank. During our 20+ years of marriage, we have actually owned four (!) chocolate Labrador retrievers beginning with our engagement gift puppy to the dog who joined our almost empty nest two years ago.
Of all the dogs, though, Argus, a Christmas present to our then six-year old son, was the rowdiest, matching up in temperament perfectly with the pack of energized little boys who came over to play. As he trained his unruly pal, our son gained a playmate and confidante, alarm clock and buddy; in fact, he gained a brother. The years of puppyhood, with chewed possessions and indoor “accidents,” are distressing. But witnessing your grown child saying goodbye to a now-aged dog as he leaves home for college is infinitely harder.
Acquiring a dog to accompany our children from youth to young adulthood is a true American tradition. And since the estimated life expectancy of a dog is 12.8 years, part of that tradition is often the inevitable and painful phone call parents must make to their college child telling him or her that the end has come for their pup.
Author Willie Morris (1934-1999) wrote about the magic of a family dog in his wonderful book, My Dog Skip. We learn of how Morris blossomed from an awkward and lonely (only) child to a confident college student and recipient of a Rhodes scholarship, all with the help of his loyal dog. As the story ends, an ominous call arrives for him in Oxford telling Morris of Skip’s death. He writes:
The dog of your boyhood teaches you a great deal about friendship, and love, and death: Old Skip was my brother…. They had buried him under our elm tree, they said-yet this was not totally true. For he really lay buried in my heart.
As we packed our son off to college for his freshman year, my husband, daughter and I watched as he hugged his dog and told him he would see him soon. At age 13, the enormous chocolate Lab who joined our household so many years before, had accomplished his mission in seeing him off to college. Argus, too, had taught our son about friendship and love. Like Skip, he passed away during our son’s collegiate years.
No doubt our son will own other dogs but will probably never have a relationship quite like the one he had with Argus. When I think of him as a really young boy, in my mind’s eye, he is smiling broadly, running with his giant retriever. It is an indelible image.
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This post also appeared on the Patch.
May the memories always be for a blessing. Now that my children have grown and flown, I am asking my husband to get us a dog. The house is quiet and there is nobody to jump on him when he comes home. (I kind of just hug him) However, while our grandchildren were here, my hubby had the pleasure of almost being knocked over once again. However, this time, he is a little older and needs to watch his back and shoulders. But it doesn’t sto him from giving them piggy back rides. Thank you for sharing this heartwarming story.
My husband treats our 2 year old pup like a grandchild! Gus is fantastic for his blood pressure and brightens his day so I am happy for them both. Good luck on your quest for your own dog.
I can so relate to this — I am now the primary companion of my college-age daughter’s dog (a wonderful black lab) and I rue the day she passes away. She’s the sweetest dog who ever lived, but — more — so many memories of my little girl spring to my mind when I look at her.
Such a lovely piece, thank you.
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Nothing like a labrador for a companion dog and I completely understand about associating the pup with memories of children. Glad your daughter left her dog with you! Thank you for the kind words.
I think of certain dogs we’ve had as marking certain seasons of my children’s lives. The dog we got when our children were babies who died just as they reached their teenaged years. I grieved as much for the loss of their childhood and I did for the loss of the dog when she died.
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Chloe, that is so true. When the family dog passes away, some of the innocence of our children do, too, especially if they are young when it happens. Since we have had four, they really represent different stages of our family life – young married couple, son’s dog, daughter’s dog, empty nest dog!
Beautiful, MD! Thanks for sharing! Please say “hello” to W for me!
Sue, I will. Argus visited the old lower school way back when! Thanks and good luck with the new school year.
This post made me teary even though I never had a dog! Allergies made that impossible. I feel bad for my little one. Oh well, I have had some awesome fish. Lol
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That’s why it is great to have friends who have dogs – your child can fall in love with a pet who doesn’t cause your eyes to weep and nose to run.
Sweet post. Our family dog (a black lab named Moses) made it through the college years, but two of our cats passed away, one then the other, while my two youngest daughters were at college. The oldest cat was a Siamese we had gotten when my oldest daughter was just one and we had no other kids yet. That cat lived a long time, and as we buried her in the back yard, it was once again just my oldest daughter, my husband, and me as we bid her farewell. It’s always hard to lose a member of the family. It’s always comforting to know there will be more.
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Glad that your kids has lots of animals growing up. Moses – a wonderful name for a black lab. I never had a cat but your sound like they ere every bit as much family members as Moses. Thanks, Lisa, for the kids words.
What a wonderful post. We had to say goodbye to our Austrailian shepherd, Rocket, after 14 years. Our eldest son was also living away from home, and it was so difficult for him to come home and not have his special dog meet him at the front door. I believe raising our two sons with a special pet was so important. They learned so much from Rocket; caring and loving a trusted ‘friend’. Thank you for sharing this post.
How lucky you were to have Rocket for 14 years. Im sure it was hard for your son to come home and not have him there. We all have our great memories of our young children and pups.
Such a beautiful touching post. My son is a senior this year and he got Chester at the end of 4th grade, which is hard to believe.
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Chester – cute name for a dog, (?.) So nice for your son to have had him throughout his childhood.
thanks mary. i need a little cry. Very lovely and poignant post. We had a Golden Retriever, Gregory.. Two of my brothers are only 18 months apart. The dog was devoted to them. He would go with them to the bus stop every morning and wait until they got on the bus and go home, curl up and wait for the bus to bring them back. They never understood how my mother always knew if they tried to skip school. She found them every time. Years later she told them,”I Knew if Gregory didn’t come home, you two didn’t get on the bus.”
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“Gregory,” just saying his name and thinking of a golden retriever, makes me smile. I love hearing about devoted dogs so thank you for telling your story.
Mary what an intimate post about your beloved family dog and the friendship that will always stay with your son. While I don’t own any dogs some family members of mine recently went through a similar cycle of life and like your son their son (college age) got the sad phone call that their labrador just couldn’t go on any more. I am forwarding this to them in the hopes that they will find comfort in your beautiful written homage to your dog.
Thank you.
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Nareen, how very sweet of you to tell us that your think our writing could help another family. I am honored and hope that the story of Argus, and Skip, might be of use.