From Michelle, a Grown and Flown friend:
This week, my nephew Elias turns 18 and begins his freshman year. Having taught college students for the past 15 years, the best gift I can give him is this list of how to make the most of the next four years. Thank you to some of my colleagues, former students, and friends who shared their collective wisdom in compiling this college advice.
1. SHOW UP. Attend every class session unless you have a contagious illness. (Woody Allen was right: 80% of success is just showing up.) And don’t sit in the back; I can practically predict a student’s grade based on where he or she sits. Slacking in the back row = bad grades with very few exceptions
2. INTRODUCE YOURSELF. Find an excuse to go to office hours, not just once but two or three times a term. Take a draft of your essay to a TA or professor for review; once graded work has been handed back, go back and ask for advice on how to improve it. These people will be your references, advocates, and possibly even friends later in life; you want them to remember your name when the semester is over. And don’t be afraid to kiss a little ass. If your professor is giving a talk or performance, show up — and make sure he or she knows you did. Helpful hint: always remind said professor, adviser, or TA of your name when you encounter them; they will be eternally grateful.
3. ENGAGE. Come to class prepared enough to ask a perceptive question or make a useful comment. Don’t be a wallflower, but don’t dominate either – your fellow students will not love you if your hand is always the first one up. When you e-mail a professor, do it for a good reason and be respectful (don’t address us as “dude” or by our first names unless we’ve asked you to). Turn off your cell phone and do not text during class. We can tell.
4. AFFILIATE. Take advantage of what campus life has to offer – clubs, events, service trips, religious groups. Join something the first week; student activities start-up right away and there is no better way to meet non-freshmen. Try out any and all groups that seem interesting until you find your niche. Research shows that students who are affiliated with a campus group or who have a part-time job are less likely to drop out and more likely to progress through college on time. More important, it enriches the experience.
5. LEARN A LANGUAGE AND/OR LIVE ABROAD. Once you leave college, language classes are expensive and hard to schedule. Take advantage of the daily classes and language labs that are included in the price of tuition. Try to study abroad. Even if you can’t get away for a whole semester, find a short-term spring or summer program and, when it comes to choosing where, the more foreign the better.
6. STAY HEALTHY. Don’t neglect your health. Eat well and be sure to get enough sleep. Getting sick means lots of missed classes and lots of missed fun. The recreation center, gym, or intramural sports are great ways to meet people and will help keep your mind clear. Do not abuse any substances, and do not kiss anyone who is sick.
7. TAP INTO RESOURCES. Career and professional advice; funding for internships, study abroad or travel; opportunities to work with professors on research; mental health counseling and disability support services – these are all offered by most schools, but it is up to you to recognize your needs and make use of such resources.
8. BE SOCIAL. Leave the door of your dorm room open much of the day and cultivate a broad group of friends. One colleague reports, “I went to my 30 year reunion this summer and met so many interesting members of my class that I didn’t know in college (but should have).” Don’t walk around campus texting. Make eye contact. Chat with kids in class. Set up a study group of three or four people to share ideas, questions, and notes if you have to miss a class (see #1).
9. SAVOR YOUR INDEPENDENCE. College is a time to grow up. Make the place where you live a home away from home so you have a measure of personal comfort. Create a positive atmosphere that will nurture you. Keep your support system – friends, family – in place, and call them when you need them, but don’t be afraid of loosening the ties.
10. Make the most of each day. The years will fly by.
Michelle Miller-Adams is an associate professor of political science at Grand Valley State University in Allendale, Michigan.
Excellent advice! It strikes me that these are all excellent pieces of advice for empty nest moms too. Like #3 – engage (don’t crawl into a hole) – yes., #5 – learn a new language and live abroad (I so want to do this and maybe have the freedom now to do so), #6 – stay healthy – uhm -yes -(more so now than ever), #8 – be social – (hello blogging) and #9 – savor your independence (important to focus on this as new empty nesters rather than the opposite). All of them – for kids and parents of those kids – wonderful!
Great advice. I especially love #9. Too often our kids like to go it alone, or have the need to cling. However, there is a fine line between giving support and “loosining the ties”. It is a process and learning curve for everyone.
@Barb. Love it!!!
I love every single tip here, and some are tips I wish I had done more for myself. I was pretty active, but didn’t take advantage of office hours, for instance. Or I used the free gym sporadically. I also wish I had lived abroad even for a quarter.
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I wish I would have done all of this – I want a do over!
I agree with all of this. Excellent points that each college Freshman should take to heart. One point I might vary on slightly is #9. I would say to savor your independence but keep your family/old friend ties strong. These people will support you, love you, pray for you and lift your up when all the others one are studying, mad at you, partying, etc. “Make new friends but Keep the Old” is my recommendation. I would also add to the list. #11. Stay true to yourself and who you are–Don’t feel you have to change who you are because of peer/professor/soical pressures. Eg.If you don’t like to party and drink–Don’t. You will find friends who are like you.
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Shelley, Thank you for elaborating and adding to the list. We agree!
I love this advice, especially the last 3 tips. My memories of college are all about the friends I made, which no matter what anyone says, is an important aspect of attending college.
Savoring your independence was never an issue when I went to college, however, today most students are so connected to their parents that they aren’t becoming independent.
And lastly, I can completely attest to the fact that the years will fly by. How do I already have sons that have graduated from college when I sometimes in seems like I was there only yesterday?
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We have some wonderful college friends, too, and you are right, so many wonderful memories from school are about how we spent time with them. Agree with you about the passage of time going so fast – incredible!
What great advice! Thank you for sharing. I have one member of the family scouting colleges now and I will be sure to pass this on to her when she is ready.
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Isn’t it amazing how important showing up is? Just showing up is one of life’s little secrets.
I used to be afraid of bothering the professor, but then I learned that professors really enjoy students who take the time to show up and show interest in the subject.
Professors usually get into teaching having some ideals about touching the lives of students. I’m sure that dream gets burned out for many, but an enthusiastic student who bothers to show up and participate can rekindle the love of teaching in even the most hardened professor. At least I’ve found it so.
You gave excellent advice!
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Thanks, Chloe!
I’m passing this to my 20yo. He will be heading back to school…one of these days.
Robin recently posted..A Quiet Review
Great advice, that I’ll be sharing with my son this afternoon!
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Great advice for the most part. I taught history at university. My advice for doing well was always come to class, pay attention (take the damn ipod out of your ears!), do the readings, do every assignment, start them early and pass them in on time, and get help when needed. I disagree with class seating….yes, I have had front row slackers! However, if you can help it, sit in the front or middle. Your professor will more likely know your name and you’ll follow the class better. Finally, affiliate as advised above but don’t go overboard. Your education is the priority.
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Clio, thank you so much for taking the time to add your perspective. Very thoughtful!
Reading these past few posts about sending your child to college kind of put my stomach in knots! My oldest is ten, and I’m sure her college days will be here before we know it and I’m not ready. Not even close to being close to ready! Hope all goes well and hope I can be as level headed with such advice when our time comes.
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Enjoy every moment of your daughter and try not to worry about what is to come, as difficult as that may be!
In some kind of crazy coincidence, I just saw a video made by students and alums from the college where Michelle teaches. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9VWxgdgGXo
She has some good advice here. I might have had a more successful undergraduate experience had I been that kind of a student. However, by the time I got my second master’s degree, I finally got it all down!
I would emphasize staying healthy and being social — not to the exclusion of the other things, but in order to establish good habits and friendships that will last a lifetime.You never know how things will work out –two of my three kids married someone they met in college!
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Risa, thanks for adding the link – what a coincidence!
Having a son who is past the freshman year, I’d add a pretty important piece of advice; If your roommate turns out to be a real dud who doesn’t want to follow the other advice you mentioned, don’t let that stop you. Just because you’ve randomly been assigned a roommate, doesn’t mean you have to be joined at the hip for the rest of your time.
Very true – the odds of roommates becoming best of friends may be very slim.
Greetings Michelle. You have provided outstanding advice. I am truly inspired by your words. #7 Tap into your resources is huge for me. This is one of the biggest pieces of advice I shared with my son who started college today. Beyond the campus resources are the connections you make at the University – from the janitor to the college dean. Its the relationships we make in college that helps us grow as individual and learn how to effectively collaborate with others. Thank you for your words of wisdom.
Garrick, good luck to your son as a new freshman and thank you for taking the time to visit and read our friend, Michelle’s, excellent advice. We agree about the importance of relationships with all the many people kids meet at college. Best of luck to you, too!
This is the kind of advice that recent college grads would say they wish someone had given them when they started. Parents, share this great advice with your freshmen. They may not thank you now, but they will later on.
Anne Vaccaro Brady recently posted..Emptying the Nest, One College Freshman at a Time
thank you, anne
Excellent advice! My son starts college in 2 years and he’s already talking about doing all these things when he gets there. I think high school does a much better job at preparing students for the transition to college then they did when I was a high school student. I’ll be sharing this with my son! Thank you.
It is really good advice , I think, for high schollers as well. I thought it was so nice to hear from the perspective of the person in front of the classroom, not the nagging mom (me) at home.
If you are contemplating what you want to do when you leave school or further education a great piece of advice is to do something that you are passionate about. You are going to be working a long time and you are now in a position of power. By laying down some carefully planned foundations now, you will be able to start out your working life, doing a job that inspires you and is interesting to you. Fashion is an interesting subject to choose for many reasons. One of the advantages of taking up a career in fashion is that there are so many branches to the subject and different roads you can choose to go down. `
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